Unhinged

Chapter 18

13th september 2007

Sharanya couldn't sleep. All she could think of was those five days. It had been more than a week since they came back. Shashank didn't tell Riva and Sharanya couldn't dare to say something. She firmly believed that it should be him to make her aware of the fact.

She kept looking at the ceiling fan. Why was life like this? Looking at Riva she felt guilty but her belief that whatever happened was for Shashank's own good, overshadowed her guilt.

Sharanya could hear Riva singing.

बिछड़े भी हम जो कभी रास्तों में
तो संग-संग रहूँगी सदा
क़दमों की आवाज़ सुन के चलूँगी
तुम्हें ढूँढ लूँगी सदा
भूली मोहब्बत की ये खुशबुएँ
हैं हवाओं में फैली हुई
छू कर मुझे आज महसूस कर लो
वो यादें मेरी अनछुई
ऐसा मिलन फिर हो न हो
सब कुछ मेरा तुम ही तो हो
बेपनाह प्यार है, आजा
तेरा इंतज़ार है, आजा
ओ, बेपनाह प्यार है, आजा
तेरा इंतज़ार है, आजा
सूना-सूना लम्हा-लम्हा
मेरी राहें तन्हा-तन्हा

She wondered how was Shashank doing it? How was he looking at her? How was he talking to her? Wasn't the reality eating him alive?

Shashank did feel guilty.. He did want to tell Riva the truth but he couldn't. Everytime he looked into her eyes, Everytime she smiled, Shashank would loose all the courage.

"So you want to say that you got this weird tattoo because you wanted to do something hysterical?" Riva asked to Shashank.

"Yeah. You know how I get around my parents.. I was frustrated and I wanted to do something to get it out of my system" Shashank was lying.

"That's so.." Riva was searching for word.

"Let it be" Shashank said "It's over.. I won't go back there till the term ends"

Riva chuckled "Ganpati ke liye bhi nahi?" She asked.

"Nahi" Shashank told.

"Par main ja rahi hoo" Riva said "pure dus din"

Shashank furrowed his brows "Dus din? Sare ke sare din waha hona jaroori hai kya"

"Of course jaroori hai.. Har saal jati hoo main" Riva said.

"Aur main har saal yahi pucchta hoo" Shashank said.

Riva laughed.

***

Next day Shashank and Sharanya said good bye to everyone who were leaving. Riva, Rachit, Nidhi and Ninad. Everyone was gone and only Shashank and Sharanya were there.

"We can start going to meetings again" Shashank said.

"Why didn't you tell Riva?" Sharanya asked. She was a little annoyed.

"I couldn't.. I can't hurt her" Shashank said.

"Shashank.. You have to tell her.. Jitna tum usse chhupaoge sach utna hi wo hurt hogi" Sharanya said.

"I can't do it" Shashank said "I feel helpless"

"And what are you planning on doing?" Sharanya asked.

"We'll go back and attend meetings.. I am planning on taking Riva there.. She promised me she will come back in five days.. She won't stay there till visarjan" Shashank said.