Wingless Crow (Suicidal Hinata)

Stayin in the shadow...

It's been a week now since I was put on the bench and today was actually the start of the trainings camp with the other volleyball teams. I really was exited for it especially when they told me I was allowed to get back in the tea. Thankfully all my wounds healed up pretty nicely. Even the small ones I had on my arms thanks to cutting myself. I quickly learned not to cut myself around my arms but on other places. Didn't wanted to get put on the bench anymore after all.

I can finally feel alive again!

I really hate it.

I don't want to be on the bench and not be able to do the only thing I am good at.

It feels horrible.

I am useless but I can do this!

I know I can.

Maybe I should lead the team?

NO!

Are you crazy!

They will put me on the bench because I am not in my place!

As I was conteplating of I should do a bit more and really show them what I could do, we finally arrived at the camp side. The sport hall was soo huge, it really looked nice and when we got inside, I could see Nekoma and the other groupd. It was really huge!

Coach: Alright, get changed and meet me here again.

That was the instruction he gave us right before we all stormed to the dressing room to get changed. They also showed us our room which was one huge room where we would stay. Kinda hated that fact but if there wasn't any other way then I would be fine with this.

Nekoma is a really good team but then there are the others!

Can't believe I will be able to play with them.

I can't mess it up here.....

I just...

Who am I kidding.

I will mess it up at one point.

I can't do this or they will thorw me out of the team.

Tsuki really hates me.

I am just bothering them all.

Fighting... yeah no.

It is not something I could do.

After we got changed we went down and immediately started warming up. After that the first school we were up against was Nekoma. It wasn't our first time going against them. In fact it was only thanks to them that we were here at all. I was happy about the fact I could actually play against them it was soo much fun. I felt alive running around, hitting the ball but the thing was... as much as I felt alive, it was also nagging at me as I couldn't use my skill as I wanted but had to hit Kageyama's set balls as he wanted. I really wanted to hit them like I could. 

Oh no...

We will lose if I continue blindly hitting the ball like this...

As we played our round, it started to be obvious that we would lose and I could tell that my team was in a bad mood. Not only that but I could hear some of them cursing.

Daichi: We can do this. Now let's focus.

It was once again that we got the ball and Kageyama set it up to me. The thing was... he miscalculated where I would be and so the ball was a bit to short. Still I couldn't leave it be and so I didn't just go in blindly but opened my eyes.

There!

I can do this!

I have to hit it there and with all my force!

I saw an opening it was right a bit before the edge of the field and the moment I hit the ball it flew very fast towards that point. No one could have reacted to that one sharp ball. As planned it hit right there and we got the point but what followed next was something I didn't expected at all.

Kageyama: Hinata boke! I set the ball perfectly for you.

Me: But-

Kageyama: Can't even hit the ball how I set it.

Me: We got the point tho.

Kageyama: And what yould you have done if someone hit that?! No one could have saved that ball!

Tsuki: You are really an idiot.

Me: I-

Daichi: Everyone calm down and Hinata sit the next round out.

Me: BUT!

Kageyama: You are just a hindrance and you would have costed us the game!

Me: .... I am sorry.

I was dumb...

I shouldn't have done that.

I should have hid my skill more.

I am sorry.

I am a no one.

I don't deserve to get attention or do something like this.

I am so sorry.

I really hated it. They just started screaming at me for something that saved us. I mean this round would have been the last one if I didn't hit that one ball there. Now they had a chance to continue but all I got was screaming and critisism. The thing was, I already started to blurr everything out as I knew how much I was at fault. Not even that but I started to step backwards till I hit something or someone.

???: If you don't want him, we are taking him!

Me: Huh?