Wingless Crow (Suicidal Hinata)

A nice change but useless

It felt good playing with the owls, I couldn't deny that fact at all. I really felt alive and no matter which team we played against, I always took the coaches word to heart. He was the first one to tell me to do my best and go all out. Up until now people would only tell me to make sure to hit the ball correctly but I felt the trust in the persons word that I couldn't help it. Not only that but I felt exited too.

This was soo good.

It's a shame I am not on their team offically.

I really would love to play for them....

I really want to play more.

This was how the stay of the trainig camp went by. Bokuto stayed true to his word and always accompanied me not leaving me stay with the other people of the Karasunos team. Not even once did they look for me till the very end. Somewhat I felt really relieved because of that too.

Bokuto: Hold on little birdy. We will come and get you.

Huh...

I wonder what he meant with this...

I am sure he meant that we would see each other on the opposit team again...

I wonder if things will be different if I play against them..

I wonder if they would still like me by then....

That was what Bokuto told me the last day of the training camp. Oh how I was dreading that day soo much. I really hated it because I felt soo alive with his team. There was even this one time when I started to think if I should transfere school but who was I kdding. That wasn't possible at all. Even if I wanted it, where would I stay?

I can't believe he left me take the shirt with me...

It really means a lot to me...

The memories I made with him and Akaashi.

He is a great setter too.

I wish I could be their offical team mate.

Everything would be better this way.

Once we all sat into the bus to get back home to our own school, I started feeling the hate and the pressure coming from the team. Up until now, I never felt this much of a disconfort at all. The air was literally chocking me but I pretended I was fine. There was really no need to bother them. They didn't change at all.

As long as the short way back felt like, we luckily arrived back to our school without any issues. The coach also left us to go and est and told us no training for the next 3 days. Now that he left, I was all alone with the team. Somewhat I really dreaded this moment the entire time in the bus.

Daichi: How could you leave us like this Hinata?

Me: I-

Sugawara: I can't believe you played for another team like that. Did you purposely hide your skills?

Kageyama: It's all because of you that we lost! It's yourfault. Look how you made us look like.

Tsukishima: You happy betraying your team.

Me: But I-

Sugawara: Why did you even ditch us?

Daichi: This was really uncalled for.

Asahi: If you had a probelm you could have told us.

I am sorry!

I didn't wanted this to happen.

It was all my fault.

I shouldn't be here!

Nishinoya: I can't believe you could receive this way... how couldn't you let us even get one point. I really thought we were a good team.

Me: I...

They all came crashing at me. Their words hurt soo much that I couldn't help it but remember that all this was my fault. The happiness of the past few dies vanished in an instant and I felt soo bad that my own heart started to sink down. I felt the squeeze and the uneasiness. Still my dear team mates went on and on until they showed me to the ground and left me be there.

Me: I am sorry...

While no one was there to hear me, I was done with everything. My tears kept falling down I didn't know what to do. I was soo done with everything. It took me hours to just stand up and take my bike to get home. I still had a long way to go. However I really couldn't stop myself from crying all the way home. 

I just wanted a place to feel alive.

Was this soo wrong?