The Train To The Past | A Series Of Short Stories

The Life I Wanted

I smile to myself as I look out the window, towards the pale blue sky that seemed to get stronger in colour the longer I looked at it. Groups of white clouds soared freely, no restraints holding them back from travelling to wherever they desired.

I wish I could be one of those clouds.

Other humans moved on with their lives, working toward their hopes and dreams, whatever they could be. I lacked those dreams, no ambitions. They didn't have the thoughts that tormented me so heavily, they only saw the positive in everything whilst I sought after the slightest relief, negative words screaming at me inside my head, telling me to escape. To end.

I wish I could be one of those humans.

Seasons pass. Winter so cold yet so comforting in its chilly embrace, it brought an unknown solace to me whenever I stood in its icy winds and bare nature. Then came Spring, plants waking up to the warming sun greeting them a good morning. Colour returns and joy starts filling humanity again, the excitement of the coming Summer. Bright sun and green grass, the smell of sea water and freshly cut meadows. Cool ice cream and the bright blue ocean enticing you to get relief from the heatwaves.

Autumn was a middle ground. The crunch of crispy, fallen brown leaves under your boots as you traversed to your next destination if you had one. Trees transforming from lush green foliage to warm yellows, only to fall once it got too cold. Months get colder and shorter, though it was always my favourite. Wearing a thick coat and cozy beanie, drinking hot cocoa with pumpkin spice, watching children play in the fallen leaves, enchanted by the changing seasons.

I wish I could be one of those seasons.

I wish I could be a reason.