Breathe

Chapter 17

John opened the door to the loft, letting Marlena and Avi enter before him. "You have a door that slides?" Avi asked him in awe, looking around with wide eyes.

Laughing softly, John reached out, ruffling the boy's hair, "Yeah, I do, little man."

Avi smiled widely, "I like that."

"I didn't know you lived here," Marlena said with a small smile. The loft was so familiar to her it almost felt like home. "Bo and Hope lived here for a while. Even Kayla, I believe."

"They did," he said softly. "Um, I can take you upstairs. There's two bedrooms, and, if you want you can share the guest room with—"

"—no. Avi can have his own room," she said looking up at him, and touching his arm lightly. John had slept in her bed with her for the last week and a half upon her request. She didn't want to stop now. With him beside her the dreams were less frequent, and when they did come she would wake to the feeling of his fingers brushing up and down the length of her arm, and his soft whispered words. It was almost the exact same thing that Hope used to do, although she hadn't told him that. "I want to start sleeping with you... in your bed." John stared at her, and she immediately thought he might get the wrong idea, so she quickly said, "Well...I mean...:

He leaned close to her, whispering, "I know what you mean, Doc."

Avi spun around to stare back and forth between them, before asking excitedly, "I'm going to sleep by myself? In my own room? Shawn D said that's what big boys do. Big boys get their own room. Am I a big boy now?"

"I guess you are," John said, scooping him off the floor. Dangling him upside down, as Avi shrieked with joy, John told Marlena, "Come on, Doc, Avi and I are going to show you around."

"We are? I don't know my way around," the boy said. His head was bobbing from side to side, "Everything looks weird upside down!"

"Shhh, I'll help you. Just pretend you know what I'm talking about," John whispered conspiratorially. When they reached the landing, he flipped Avi right, and set him on his feet, laughing as Avi swayed slightly trying to get his balance.

Marlena couldn't help but smile at the bond that had formed between John and Avi over the last three months. Their little family had taken the time they needed to grow together and heal. Avi idolized his father, and it made her so happy. Even after she had spoken to John on the phone that fateful night, she had gone to sleep with a mixture of tentative hope and trepidation. After six years with Stefano she couldn't be sure if the man she hoped would save them would love her after he knew what she'd been through. After three months of therapy, she could admit that Stefano had gotten in her mind, and sometimes still she could hear his unkind words, leading her to doubt herself... to doubting others. Watching John with Avi took away all of that doubt.

She trailed her fingers along the exposed brick wall, thinking that John used to live here with his wife. Isabella had lived here. They'd only been married for eight months, but Marlena could see feminine touches in every corner of the place. Framed posters from Italy on the wall, antique vases filled with dried flowers, and tiny perfumed soaps in the bathrooms. Isabella was everywhere, and Marlena wondered how that affected John. Isabella had died just before he learned about her existence. Had he even had time to mourn?

She was lost in her own world until she heard a small gasp from her son. Avi stood in the doorway to his room, and he started crying. He was so overwhelmed with it. While they were in Washington, John had asked Hope and Shawn D to decorate the space, and they didn't disappoint. Even he was surprised with what she'd done to it. Previously it had been decorated as a nursery, for the baby Isabella had hoped to have. Hope had changed it into a room any five year old boy would love. Avi walked over to the blue dresser, which had red handles, and touched it gently. He examined the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles design on the comforter that covered the bed, and he looked at the figurines that lined the desk, and the windowsill. He looked up at his Papá, "This is for me?"