"FINE" LIES

Broken Heart

Friday, October 24

This day has finally come. The day I'd be able to be with Andy again. I walked into class. Staring right at me with those beautiful ocean eyes was Andy. He waved at me. I went over to him and did something out of the ordinary. I hugged him. His embrace was warm and I felt like I belonged in his arms.

"I love that welcome back," Andy said.

I smiled. "I'm just happy you're back." I sat at my desk.

Hannah walked into class. Once she laid eyes on Andy, her face lit up.

"Hey, Andy," Hannah said.

"Hey," Andy said.

"I missed you."

Andy hesitated. "Yeah, me too."

Hannah looked at me and smiled. She obviously didn't catch how hesitant he was in his response.

At lunch, I didn't sit with Andy. But he did sit with my friends and me.

"It's good to have you back, Andy," Scarlett said.

"It's nice to be back," Andy said. "It's great to see what I missed for three days." He glanced at me.

I slightly blushed. I looked down, so it wouldn't be noticeable.

"Danielle told us you fought Kaiden," Anna said.

"Oh, yeah," Andy said. "He was talking bad about someone I cared about a lot. So I told him that he should shut up. Knowing Kaiden, he has a short fuse. So, we had an argument that quickly leaded to a fist fight."

I was glad he didn't say that Kaiden was talking about me. It'd let Hannah know that Andy cared about me way more than she thought. Even though I didn't like her, I still wanted to spare her feelings.

"Who was he talking about?" Reina asked.

Andy hesitated. "Not important." But he did look at Reina and then at me. It was probably his code for saying it was me without Hannah knowing.

At Science, it seemed to me that I forgot where Kaiden and I stood. We weren't together anymore. I'd hardly call us friends anymore after he called me disgusting. So where were we? I'd like to call him my best friend again, but I don't think that'll happen.

I sat at my desk. "Hey, Kaiden."

He didn't say anything.

"So, I guess we aren't friends anymore."

Yet again he said nothing. I guess we were going from being best friends to strangers. It wouldn't work, because every time I'm around him I'll get memories of everything we've been though together. I still cared about Kaiden and a part of me hoped he cared about me too.

Andy walked into class. He waved at me and winked. I waved back.

"Are you and Andy a thing?" Kaiden asked.

I was taken back, when I realized he was talking to me. "No."

"You guys seem like it."

"Everyone says that."

He didn't say anything for awhile. "Danielle, I want to talk to you later. It's important."

"Okay, Kai," I said, looking at him. Whatever he had to say, I really hoped it'd let us be able to be close like we once were.

After class, Kaiden walked with me to the buses. We walked slower than we normally did.

"I'm a jerk," Kaiden started out. "A real big jerk. I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I don't know how it feels to be depressed and cut. I just said that because I was afraid. Maybe of you or what you do, but that's no excuse to saying stuff like that. I shouldn't have been with you. I wasn't ready for a girlfriend. I just wanted to take you away from Andy. Maybe that's why I hate him, because I know he's better than me. And I was afraid he would take you from me. And you wouldn't be my friend anymore."

I stopped Kaiden and looked at him. I took his hands in mine. "Nothing would stop me from being your friend."

He looked at my with his crystal blue eyes. "I know that now. And I'll be okay if you never want to talk to me again."

"You're my best friend, Kai. I care about you way too much to just forget about you. I accept your apology."

He smiled at me, his real smile, the one with the dimples and his eyes crinkling in the corners. Kaiden leaned in and kissed me. I didn't pull away, because I liked it. This was like a farewell kiss to our relationship. His kisses were going to be something I missed, even if they lacked emotion.

When I pulled back, I saw Andy behind Kaiden farther down the hall. He looked upset, angry even. Andy walked away.

"I'm glad you can forgive me," Kaiden said.

"I understand where you're coming from," I said. "Plus, you're my best friend. You know too much."

Kaiden chuckled, flipping the brown hair from his eyes.

When I got home, my mom and dad were on the couch watching Tv.

"Hey," I said.

"Hello," my dad said.

"You're not in your slump anymore," my mom said. "Andy must be back."

I smiled a little. "Yeah, and so was Kaiden."

My mom and dad both frowned.

"He apologized," I said.

"He still hurt you," my dad said.

"He's earning my full trust again, if that makes you feel better."

"It does, slightly."

My phone vibrated in my back pocket. It was a text from Scarlett in a group chat asking if we all wanted to sleepover this weekend.

"Mom, can I sleepover at Scarlett's tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure," my mom said.

"Okay, thanks." I walked upstairs to my room. I started packing my stuff for tomorrow. When I was almost done, Andy called me.

"I saw you and Kaiden," Andy said.

"I know," I said. "I saw you. And you looked upset."

"I was and still am."

"Why?"

"Because you went back to the guy who broke your heart."

"He apologized."

"I don't care!" I never heard Andy raise his voice like that before. It weird coming from him. I was so used to his calm self that I didn't think that he got angry. "If he hurt you once, he'll do it again. He did so many things to hurt you. He left you because he knew you cut, when he should've been there for you."

"Andy, I told you I don't cut."

"Danielle stop lying to me! If you cared about like me you act, you wouldn't lie."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Yes, I would! Because two years ago that's exactly how I was. I was depressed and cut for two years straight. I know how it feels and I know what goes on in your head. It's terrible and dark. But if you don't want me to help you at all. I'll leave you alone. You can go to Kaiden. I'm done with you, Dani. And I actually liked you a lot."

"Andy-"

"No, Danielle, just stop talking. Nothing can fix this."

"Andy, please."

He hung up on me. I dropped my phone on the floor. I fell soon after it, crying on the ground. I pushed away the only guy that cared about me. That knew about how I felt, but didn't want to push me into telling him. But I pushed him too far. And I hated myself for it.

My mom came in my room. "Danielle, is everything okay?"

"No," I croaked.

She came over to me and sat next to me on the floor. She took my hand. "What happened?"

"Andy."

"Did he break your heart?"

I shook my head. "I broke his."