Under This Roof

Chapter 46

Eva opens the door for us. I am happy to see her friendly face.

"Come in. Very glad you came." She greets us.

Harry's father is coming down the stairs towards us.

"Hello." He says smiling.

"I'll help." Eva says taking the cake from Harry. "Lauren, follow me. I'll show you your room."

Eva passes by the kitchen, enters and puts the bag of cake on the table. Then she continues into the house and opens a door.

"You can stay here tonight." She tells me.

"Nice room. Do you offer breakfast services? Cleaning services?" I hear Harry's voice from behind me, joking.

Eva laughs. "We do not, in fact. It is a self-service residence. I have also been just told that if you make a lot of these jokes, I am allowed to kick you out. Of course, Lauren stays."

Eva and Harry literally act like the twins that they are. It is nice to watch.

I put my bag on the bed and Harry takes my arm quickly afterwards.

"Come. You have to see my room first."

****

We sit in the patio and drink minted lemonade juice that Harry's father, Robert, has prepared himself. He was very proud of it.

The atmosphere is calm. There is a little bit of tension, but not very negative. It is like everyone is sad about the same thing, but no one dares mention it. I believe Harry did as promised, he talked to Eva about this before we come. He made sure no one is going to make us feel awkward or bad. And as much as I appreciate it, I feel like we are all doing an act. Our words are real. Our talks are genuine. But we all know deep inside that there is a much important topic for us to be talking about, and we are not.

Eva and Harry show me around Caversham. We take a walk in a nice park. We visit the city center. We spend a chill and nice day. And we go back home for dinner. Harry tells me that his father has always been the cook in the house. And that he expects him to prepare something very special for tonight.

When we arrive, Robert asks us to shower as fast as possible because dinner is almost ready. The house is full with an amazingly nice and delicious smell. If there is anything that will make this trip worth it; it would be good food.

****

After around ten minutes of sitting in on the dinner table, tasting the food and exclaiming our joy, the tension in the air joins us again. And I feel now overwhelmed. Not only do I have in mind how horrible it will be for us when I leave, I also now have to imagine what Robert and Eva must be thinking about this without saying it out loud. And it makes my heart heavy. And it makes me want to scream.

So I put down the fork and knife for a second and take a deep breath.

"Alright. Let's talk about it."

Everyone looks at me surprised. Especially Harry, who went to great lengths to make sure no one mentions anything about this to me.

"What do you want to talk about?" Robert asks, his tone is a little too sweet, as though still trying to take care of me.

At this point, I do not need anyone to take care of my feelings. Not anymore. I want them to be blunt. Come on. Aren't you Harry's family? You should know what being straightforward means. I want them to shoot their questions and concerns. I want this over. Now.

"About the fact that I'm leaving in four days." I answer, trying to keep my tone very casual.

"Lauren." Harry calls. I turn to him and smile. It is okay, Harry. We need this.

"I know you probably think that this whole thing is a waste of time." I start. "But what better way is there to spend time than to do exactly what you feel so strongly about? To do what makes you feel happy and alive?"

"Actually," Robert starts to talk. But I am not done yet. So without noticing or thinking too much of it, I continue proving my point.

"And truly, Harry and I have been spending the best time together. I think we both agree that the last month was one to remember forever. And it is true that we have no idea where this will take us. But we want to pursue this anyway. Because if there is a tiny, slim, undetectable chance that this will work out someday, it makes this the best decision we ever made. And if it does not, it makes this one of the sweetest, saddest, deepest encounters we have ever had. And no experience will compare to this."

Harry smiles. And when Harry smiles, I feel like I have done a good job. Always the case. Always.

Robert opens his mouth to answer me but I continue talking.

"And I also want to say that I am truly happy to meet you and be here with you. Even if I never see you again. Because Harry," I look over at Harry, whose eyes are so deep and whose gaze is going directly to my heart, "Harry is one of the most beautiful people I ever met. He has been there for me in my good and bad days. He is so honest and direct. He has very unique thoughts. He makes my life easy. Harry makes my life easy simply by being there."

I take a short breath.

"And I have the honor to meet his family, even under circumstances like these."

I stop talking.

"Is there anything you would like to add?" Robert asks me before I cut him off again.

I shake my head and gulp. Did I make a fool of myself?

Probably.

Was it worth it?

A hundred percent.

Do I feel better?

Absolutely.

Do I love Harry?

I am so in love with Harry. I love him so much that all I want is for everyone else to disappear now, and for Harry to make his way across the table to me, and for him to kiss me.

But right now, I have to bring my attention back to Robert.

"I was going to say that there is no need for you, both of you," he looks at me and then at Harry, "to feel so stressed about this. I know it must be tough. But I think you need to chill and enjoy your time together. Leave these worries for later. You will be living them, believe me. No need to rush it. No need to create for yourselves these different scenarios now and to live the pressure and discomfort of each of them. One thing only will happen. One scenario. One end. And that one end might be unimaginable to you now. So just let it be."

There is a short pause after Robert's speech, after which Harry takes my hand from across the table and holds it.

"I can do that." He says, smiling at me.

I hope, Harry. I truly hope that you can.