Under This Roof

Chapter 47

28 September 2014.

"Okay so." Harry starts, sitting beside me on the bed before we finally take off back to London.

"Remember when I left you and Eva yesterday at the coffee shop to go a nearby place?" he asks.

"Yes?"

"I was actually making you this." Harry brings out a small gift box. 

"Harry." Not knowing what else to say, all I come up with is his name. His name, which has lately become the start and end of all my thoughts.

"Open it."

I open the box to find a beautiful round shaped golden necklace.

"Open it." he says. I am confused for few seconds. I did open it.

Then it hits me.

That song. The lyrics.

Oh, you can fit me

Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen

Next to your heartbeat where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me

Well, that's okay, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages, you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamppost back on Sixth street

Hearing you whisper through the phone

"Wait for me to come home"

I open the tiny disk in the necklace and find a very cute selfie that Harry and I took in Castle Combe. When I was wearing Harry's favourite dress. The one he picked out for me.

You think I need this to remember how you kissed me, Harry?

I do not think there is anything that can make me forget.

****

Eva and I are sitting outside on the patio as I wait for Harry to finish saying goodbye to his father and come out. We chat a little bit about my work and hers.

"You know Lauren, I do not mean to apply any kind of pressure on you. But if you ever find yourself capable of doing something, anything, about your relationship with Harry, I urge you to."

I understand where her words are coming from. Everyone sees it. Harry and I simply perfectly fit.

"You know, he has never brought anyone home." Eva takes a short pause. "And now, regardless of the fact that it is probably ending in few days, he decided to bring you here anyway. And that says a lot about Harry. In the past, it was hard for me to even get him to confess if he is seeing someone. He was never vocal about these things. About feelings." she laughs a little. "And now..." she shakes her head. I watch her movements. I watch her tone. I listen well to her words. Every time that I think I have fallen head over heels for this person, that there is no more, I am proven wrong.

"It breaks my heart a little." she says at last.

"It breaks my heart like nothing else, Eva." I tell her. And that is the last sentence I say before Harry comes out. That might be the last sentence I ever say to Eva.

I say my goodbyes and get into the car. Harry looks cheerful and happy. Robert's words worked on him better than they did on me. But that is all I need right now. It is enough for me that one of us is feeling a little better.

****

29 September 2014.

It is Monday. But my job here was completely done by last Friday. And had I emptied my office at NARAH, I would not be going back to work today. But I did not. And I thought it would be good to see Marcus and Steph one last time and say my goodbyes.

After cleaning up my desk, all three of us go to a nearby place for breakfast. We spend a very good time together, recollecting memories here and there.

I leave Marcus and Steph at the restaurant and walk away, feeling anxious but ready. It is time. As much as I enjoyed their company and working with them, it was time for me to go back to being my own team. To being the decision maker. That is the role for me. And I am happy to return to it.

Harry has asked me not to make plans for tonight. And I was not going to, anyway. I miss Claire and am sure that I want to see her for a while before I leave, but I only have a couple of nights left. I cannot waste those. I need to be with Harry. Also, Claire and all the others are going to come over tomorrow to spend the night. I will have my time with her, I am sure.

I pass by their college and stop around. I did not make any plans for tonight, but it is still noon. And there is a lot I can do. If Claire is not currently attending a class, we can sit for a while together. I text her and wait.

Someone knocks on my window. I look outside and it takes me a second to figure it out. I get out of the car.

"Liam. Hi. What are you doing here?"

"Probably the same thing as you. Here to see my significant other during my break." 

"Wow you guys really do not get enough of each other."

Liam laughs.

"But I am not here to see my significant other. In fact, I am here to see yours." I tell him.

"You are?" 

Just then, we both notice Claire walking up towards us. She looks surprised to see me. She was probably coming to meet with Liam as they had planned.

"Hi." She greets both of us and kisses Liam.

"Lauren, you're here to see-" she wants to say Harry but Liam directly says "You."

"Oh." Claire is impressed.

"And you know what?" Liam adds, looking at me "she is all yours. I will leave you two alone."

"No, no. Liam. You can stay."

"If there is any crying involved, I do not want to." he jokes.

"There is not. I promise."

I lie.

All three of us have watery eyes at some point during our conversation when we mention some of our best times. But it feels good. It feels relieving. It feels nice to have someone feeling so much towards you, to not feel alone in a certain emotion. No matter how bad the sentiment is, it feels good that it is at least shared.

I have many, many hurtful feelings. But loneliness is for sure not one of them.