Saving Jessy

chapter 9: note

"Memories?" He asked looking at me

"Yeah, memories" i said feeling the horrible feeling of my chest burning up and my heart squeezing, "they suck" i quietly add, slightly smiling at the bittersweet feeling.

"I don't think they suck" he said, a small smiling present on his lips.

"Really? Now why is that?" I asked, he probably doesn't know what it feels like, he doesn't know what it feels like to loose someone, he has his brother with him, and probably a full family, i can even picture it, him with his family having fun with his parents and possibly younger siblings and a dog, suddenly i started feeling a slight burn in my chest as if someone was squeezing it, i ignored it.

"Well for example, let's say you lost someone, you can't be with that person ever again, would you rather forget about that person or will you choose to keep their memories in your heart?" he explains, it was quite for a second or two before he said

"Heyyy i asked you a question now quick answer me am a busy man" he said jokingly smiling at me at the end, i glared at him for a sec before I said

"I'd rather forget about them" staring hard at the piano

"At least i don't have to constantly remember the way they left, the bad memories and the good ones, i don't have constantly remember how life was before they left, i...." i trailed off, don't want to keep hoping that it was all one big horrible nightmare, i can't. I want them back, i want them back sooooo much, i can't have that, i don't want to keep living in a world where they aren't alive, that thought right there made my heart squeezed more.

"... i know what you mean but do you really mean that? Do you want to live in a world where they never existed? Do you really? " he asked in a quiet voice, his words hit me a truck, i was quite for a while and he asked again

"Do you really? " i didn't want to answer him but for some unknown reason i felt compelled to do so, i should have stopped this conversation before it went anywhere and for a reason i do not know i answered him

"No" he smiled and said

"Woooww i forgot the last time i played a piano" that got me confused for a while before i realized what happened, which made me slightly smile

"You play?" I asked switching my gaze from the piano to karl

"Play!?? I didn't just play i lived by it" he exclaims giving me an offended look

"Yeah yeah whatever " i said rolling my eyes

"Do you play?" He asked as he shuffled closer to me, how did he do it with barely any space on the seat? I do not know.

"Woah woah woah big guy" i said as i pushed him away

"Yes, i play but it's been a while since i last played" i said smiling

"Ohh it's been a while since I last played too, why don't we give it a try" he said nudging my shoulder.

I froze that's what i did, before i snapped myself out of it.

"I don't think that's a good idea, maybe i should go" i said standing up, he quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.

"Yeah no, don't go" he said, which shocked me, is this guy sick in the head? I looked at him then my wrist that he was still holding on to, i kept doing it for a second or two before he realized and when he did he quickly let go of my hand and faked a cough

"I mean you can't go because the bell already rang and am sure you don't want a detention on your first day" he said

I wouldn't actually mind detention but my mom would definitely mind so i sat down next to him.

He turned back to the piano and plays a few notes, i was mesmerized by it and he suddenly stopped, i looked at him in confusion and he said

"Give it a try" i rolled my eyes at him and said no

"Come onnnnnnnnnn" he drawled

"NO" i said in a final voice, he mumbled a fine and it was quite for a while before he opened his loud mouth and said

"Chicken..."

What did you just say?!!" I exclaimed feeling deeply offended and mocked

"You heard me, you a chicken quakk quakk"

"Idiot that's not a chicken that's a duck" he ignored me and continued quacking and occasionally making chicken sounds, at first i planned on ignoring him but atlas happiness wasn't with me

"Fine!!!! I'll play the fu*king piano just shut up for a minute " i exclaimed and he immediately kept quiet.

I raised my shaky fingers so they were hovering over the keys, it was drop dead silent, i could hear my heart thundering in my rib cage, my vision was getting blury but i pushed through and after a lot of mental pep talk, telling myself i could do it, what's a little bit of music?

After what felt like forever my finger fell down on a key and the piano erupted into a cacophonous noise, i let out a shaky breath and a small laughing/choking sound before clearing my throat, i raised my other hand and placed it on the piano and kept playing. It created a beautiful melody that i didn't know i yearned for, i missed it soo much, i kept playing as all the memories of Caleb teaching me the piano rushed into my head, i tried so hard to block them and after a while, i don't know how i did it but i did it, i didn't stop until i was at the end of the song

"Wowwwww" i heard a voice beside me, it took me a minute before i realized it was karl, i totally forgot about him.

"That was amazing, seriously that was one of the best songs I've heard someone play" he said which made me snort. He placed his hand his forehead and said woahhh again, he stopped when i stopped responding to him but i could feel his eyes on me which i tried my best to ignore.

"I still can't believe you played the piano version of ocean eyes" he said and i froze, ocean eyes? I played ocean eyes by billie eilish?, i didn't even registered what i played but now that he said it, i couldn't help thinking about Caleb, it was one of his favorite songs, i learned it for him, i felt stupid for what i did just now and what hurts more was i couldn't help looking at karls eyes, so blue, even though his eyes where a deep ocean blue, they were still a shade lighter than Calebs, but Kyle his eyes were the exact replica of Calebs, my Caleb.

Kyle i quietly thought to myself

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New chapter, hope you like it.

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