Conversing with my thoughts

20 0 0
                                    

Things happen that you can't always control like for this past month: Losing my family, living with the guilt of being one of the only survivors, knowing you caused all of this due to you just being born, understandable.

But I will not loose sleep due to the voices in my head.

I ignored the said voice, 'Father was right: heavy is the head that bears the crown' I thought before returning to my peaceful slumber.

"It's rude to ignore a greeting." The voice said or voices? It sounded like so many people talking but just one person at the same time. I inhale deeply and open my eyes to be greeted by the darkness; no one but darkness. "It's also rude to wake someone up you know?" I sigh my voice drowsy due to my ever present lack of rest. I calmly ignore the cold shivers down my body, trying to sit up slowly while my eyes peered into the darkness but the weirdest thing happened.

I was already standing.

"Show yourself right this instant," I speak calmly, recalling my uncle's training. Almost instantly, I felt a presence behind me, causing me to spin my heels and see...something.A white silhouette of a human stood in front of me, and the figure had no eyes or anything ; It looked almost as if you could draw the outline of a human body with a pencil and leave the space inside.

Yet even without a face, I knew it was looking at me; at least, that is what I felt.

"If it makes you feel any better..." Its voice echoed across my skull, "This is a dream, so you're still resting." I take a deep breath and ponder my options silently as I stare at the silhouette for a while. Whatever it was didn't want to harm me, but it feels friendly: well as friendly as voices in people's heads sound these days.

"How about introductions?" I start while proceeding to take a few cautious steps toward it. "With how you speak, you already know who I am, but I have no idea what you are," I say calmly, each word rolling off my tongue.

It moves its head towards mine, checking me mentally before looking elsewhere. "Do you believe you can be the best?" its voice asks me. I slowly noticed that its voice sounded masculine( Well, a collection of multiple masculine voices, I think.) The question throws me off guard cause I wasn't expecting it."I don't know," I respond. "Could you just please tell me what or who you are?"For a moment there was silence. The figure doesn't say anything before giving a hearty laugh causing me a slight headache, but his laughter slowly dies."You humans are all the same." He mutters under his breath before turning towards me. "You all ask the same thing, most scared or even terrified, but not you. No, you're different for some reason."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I respond.

He walks towards me and stops just a few feet away his aura was more curious than intimidating which for some reason was calming.

"For now, think of me as a friend when you're in need," He tells me slowly as he turns around and proceeds to walk away from me causing me to call out to him once more. "Give me a name then so I'll know if you're a person or if my guilt finally caught up with me." He pauses with his back right in front of me. "My voice sounds confusing, right? Almost like I'm more than one person yeah?" He says. "I believe it's about one hundred and ten voices in total. Use that to come up with a name." I close my eyes and slowly ponder; what could I call him? After what seemed like an eternity, I had an answer.

"How about CX, you know like in roman numerals? From what Aunt Lucy taught me, it means a hundred and ten." I said, suddenly feeling tired: causing a yawn to escape. He laughs and walks off into the darkness with my legs almost rooted in place. "By the looks of it, it's time for you to leave..." He says, throwing a wave. My vision blurs, making me see double as I slowly stumble and lose my footing causing me to fall to the ground with my hands on the ground as my eyes slowly close.

"We'll talk again someday," He says as I slowly lose consciousness, I quietly hear him mutter. "CX... interesting."

I slowly come to the bed before sitting up while popping my joints loose as usual. Everything about that dream felt confusing, but something inside me made me think I'm not having a conversation like that anytime soon. Uncle Ben walks towards me, his face painted with confusion.

"Something on my face?" I ask, my hands trying to wipe any drool by the sides of my mouth. "No, I just thought you'll be out right now, so I was planning to wake you up." He said, "Good thing you're up."

The sentence causes me to glare at him, "You wanted just have an excuse to bathe me in cold water for your delight." Making him chuckle, "Agree to disagree."

I sigh as I get up and focus on the task at hand, tidying the room in front of me. "Training starts in ten; don't come a second late." His deep voice booms as he jogs out of my room. I decided to start with the mess of cotton called my bed. I then decide to wash my face and freshen myself up, as a shower would be a waste as I'll be a sweaty mess. The dripping of water from the tips of my hair to my face as the eerie morning dawn brought a cold but soothing chill to my face jolting me from my sleep permanently. Small glimpses of the golden sun were wrapping the green forest around us. I strolled down the stairs to my uncle, and he gave me a warm smile. "You know you smile an awful lot for a military general." I joke as I partake in my morning stretches, I had currently changed out of my sleeping ware to my training equipment which consisted of strictly pitch-black items of clothing. A pair of tight black trousers, with a lack top which swallowed my whole upper torso, and a black helmet, with a pair of light brown boots on my feet; as you could tell, I'm still not used to such clothing

"Oh, I don't know the training I had in store for you today just made me happy." As he's once-innocent smile immediately turned evil in my eyes.

After what felt like an eternity, I finished my daily stretches as I was slowly inhaling.

Uncle Ben glances at me and sighs ."Hey Jason?" He calls out to me, with a slight pause, my uncle stares at me sorrowfully before slightlytearing up from his one and only good eye. "Sorry, bad dream." He says before turning away to clean his face. "I want you to know..." He says, turning to me once more his eye now full of a spark as the golden sun rose and covered his face. "That I'm teaching you to be a survivor ok? You and I are the only ones from the Hart family left. Not only will we survive but we'll live life to the fullest with no regrets and never abandon our moral compass. Oh, and to be a fighter something in me knows you're going to be a great one." He finishes his speech with a hearty laugh as my mind recalls the question I got last night "Do you believe you can be the best?"

My vision gets blurry a bit as I wipe the liquid leaking out of my eyes, my mouth leaking apologies to him as he hugs me gently. I don't know how much time passed but we broke the hug when we felt the heat and the golden sunlight surrounding us.

"Alright!" I shout as I separate from the old man my heart beating and my back feeling magically lighter, "What's the first thing you've got for me old man?" I ask to be met with an evil smile once more

"You remember those bears that came for the uninvited tea party right?" He asks the rhetorical question causing my stomach to do flips. "Yes?" I replied less confident as he continues smiling.

"This time how about we invite one of them to wrestle what do you think?"

Wherever it takes us.Where stories live. Discover now