Emotional Detachment

Behind closed doors: 2nd session

"Mr. Tankhun, Big is here" Pol announced, with Big standing behind him

"Oh good!" Tankhun's voice sounded from the room "let him in and leave us" Pol stepped aside and let Big through, who closed the door behind him "Master Tankhun." Big greeted with a slight bow.

"How are you doing?" Tankhun asked from the couch.

"I'm fine Sir, please don't worry about me"

"I do, especially now when Kim is not doing okay"

"Mr. Kim is doing fine"

Tankhun scoffed exaggeratedly at this.

"Don't lie to me." then his tone of voice changed. "I know he told you to say that" Big looked at the floor.

"How's he doing, honestly?" Tankhun then calmly asked

"Well," Big started out, but then exhaled deeply, raising his head again "Fine, really."

"Why don't I believe you? Oh right, because of that" Tankhun spoke, pointing to Big's neck, and rolling his eyes.

"Sir, it was just a warning, there's no need to worry. It won't happen again"

"He's fine. He's talking to the therapist. There's nothing else to tell"

"So you're not gonna tell me what you did that made him do it?"

Big didn't answer, nor did Tankhun press on. It was silent for a while.

"You know, we can't get any information about Kim's sessions. We have no clue what they're talking about. He's my brother, but I can't even know what's going on with him"

Big had an idea of what Tankhun was going to propose, and though he didn't like it, there was nothing he could do.

"We need to find a way to get it"

"Yes, sir" was all he could reply, leaving Tankhun's room with a lump in his throat.

He let out a sigh and began his walk back to his room. He hated walking through the bodyguards' quarters.

Everyone would look at him for a moment, then act as if he wasn't there. It was suffocating, their eyes wandering across him, watching his every move. Even worse now with the bruises on his neck.

Once inside his room, he closed the door, collapsing against it.

He let himself slide down, staring into the empty apartment.

He was exhausted from keeping up a facade all day, not just today, but every day. Always keeping it together, when all he wanted to do was leave forever.

Yes, he had his duty, and of course, he wanted to continue it, but the silence in his room was deafening. 

Killing him.

The lights were turned off, no sign of life at all. Well, there hadn't really been any these past months anyway. Not since Ken's death.

After all, the one who had been like a brother to him had betrayed him.

He blamed himself because Ken was his friend. They were always together, and yet, he never noticed it. Truly, he was really blinded by his emotions. 

"Come on," he muttered to himself "you can do it" though it was obvious, he was barely believing in himself anymore. Perhaps what he needed was not training, but a therapist.

Still, he pulled himself up from the floor with a sigh, to the couch, letting himself fall onto it. His body relaxed, his mind both silent yet spiraling with thoughts. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes.