Maelstrom

Chapter 38: The Something That Was Missing

I cast another critical look at myself in the mirror. I knew the chignon was the right call for the dress, and for the type of evening the dress implied, but I was still nervous. The light makeup, the perfectly executed classic up-do, and, of course, the lack of tattoos was definitely a Lärke look, one that the members of the Hellström family had seen a hundred times at a hundred different posh events, but Ivan had never seen Lärke, only Lex.

That wasn't true, I reminded myself. Although he didn't know it, I had been Lärke in the gym and at the Met on Tuesday, and the Malibu Barbie ensemble really had very little to do with my Lex persona. And Ivan had said he liked those looks best. Plus he was the one who had picked out these clothes; I should not be worried. I was anyway.

I turned my head from side to side, bumming again about the holes in my ears. The outfit was stunning enough in its own right that adding a necklace or bracelet would have been gilding the lily, and I never wore rings, but with my ears exposed by the chignon like this, the empty holes in my lobes seemed an obvious oversight. I sighed. There was no helping it; I'd left all my good jewelry in my Upper West Side condo, and all of Lex's stuff was deliberately gaudy trash. I'd just have to do without.

The buzzer droned loudly from the other room. I looked at the clock in surprise: 5:51pm. I walked over and pressed the TALK button.

"You're early," I chided. The effect was spoiled, though, when I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice. I pushed LISTEN as I slipped on a shoe.

"Marshall has been driving around the neighborhood for almost twenty minutes. I couldn't wait any longer."

I grinned like a lunatic and adjusted the shoe's strap. TALK. "I'll be right down."

LISTEN. "Buzz me in."

I froze. Feelings of panic and claustrophobia crashed down onto me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I couldn't have him in my apartment; he'd already smashed through so many of my boundaries, but that would be a really big one. Prudence said to refuse. TALK. "That's okay; I'm ready to come down now."

LISTEN. "Are you wearing the clothes I sent you?"

TALK. "Yes."

LISTEN. "Then, I don't mean to criticize, but this is not really the kind of building where you should be parading around alone with $10,000 of clothing on your body. Buzz me in."

Stunned, I unhesitatingly pressed the ENTRY button without another word and held it long enough that I was sure he was through the inner door. I put on my other shoe in a daze. I'd known he'd spent a ridiculous amount of money on the clothes, but hearing it totaled up like that made my nervous energy escalate to a whole new level. Where was he taking me that I needed to be wearing an outfit that cost more than many of the cars around here? And what did he expect from me for that kind of outlay?

He was on his way up, I reminded myself. My eyes darted around the room, trying to see it as a stranger might. Was there anything out of place, anything that didn't belong in a bartender's apartment, any guns or badges or folders of cartel mug shots lying on the floor?

My cello. I scurried over to it quickly and picked up the case, careful not to let it brush against my dress or stockings. It would not do for Ivan to see a multi-thousand-dollar instrument gracing my humble abode. I dragged the behemoth into the bedroom and shut the door just as the knocking started.

I let out a quavering breath, smoothed my hands over the dress, and glided over to the door. I put my eye up to the peephole, and my mouth dropped open.

He was a fucking god. Even through this fisheye lens, I knew I could look at him all day. He wore another of his charcoal gray bespoke suits, completed tonight by a traditional white button-down shirt and, for the first time since I'd known him, a tie – dove gray silk, like the lining of the new cape. The silky strands of his dark blond hair were tamed to casual perfection. I felt the now-familiar tightening between my legs and began to worry suddenly about having nothing more than a thin silky shell and some lace covering my nipples.