The Disillusioned Land

Omake 35.5 - Mismatched Tomfoolery

Personal Author's Note: Hello everyone, this is the third author for The Disillusioned Land. As most of you are aware, we operate on a cycle basis in our chapter releases, meaning that each chapter is entirely done by a different writer with his own ideas, and while he writes, the other 3 have to wait for their turns to write. Since fourth writer-san is currently having a mental breakdown, I thought of making a bonus non-canon chapter involving our main character while we await for the next chapter to be done; however do not expect for these to be frequent, enjoy!

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Somewhere, some time, in the Land of the Back Door.

"Miss Okina."

"Hmm? What do you require of me Ryan?"

"What would happen if Yukari put a gap inside of those backdoors of yours?"

"Why of course they woul-" Okina stops mid sentence and puts her hands on her chin, it seems like even she doesn't know the answer to my question.

"...And why do you ask such question Ryan?" Seems like she's dodging answering it but not much I can do.

"Just curiou- I mean, it would be useful to know in the future should the situation occur." I cut my first answer short since asking what seems to be an annoying question to a god simply for curiosity would leave me in bad waters.

"Answering a practical question with a theoretical answer would leave it wanting wouldn't it? So be glad this graceful God will show you benevolence and give you the chance to experience it for yourself." Most assuredly, she doesn't know the answer to my question but it seems her sense of pride as a sage and god leaves her unable to admit she has no clue of how those events would play. I do wonder how she'll manage to give me a practical example thou-

"Hum hum~ Hey Yukari, it is I." From seemingly nowhere, she picks up a flip phone and calls none other than Yukari Yakumo herself, who for some reason also possesses a cellphone.

"Wh- wait you have a phone? I thought gods didn't need such thin-"

"Be quiet Ryan, it is basic manners to silence yourself while others are speaking on the phone."

"R-right... Yes ma'am..." I tell her back with an iffy tone, which she seems to ignore.

"My apologies, Ryan was bothering me with idle chatte- what do you mean 'who is this?' You already it is I! The ultimate and absolute secret god!... Hello? Yukari Yakumo are you there?" She scratches her chin and turns to me. "Seems like the connection was terminated, curious."

"A-ah... is that so?" ... "Uhhh want me try calling her."

"You may try if you so wish."

...

"Uh... Yes, it's me Ryan. Yeah I know, it's been a while. Nothing much, I'm hanging around with Okina right now. Yeah that'd help a lot. Alright thanks."

"So? How did you fare?"

"She said she's coming"

A gap appears out of thin air, and exiting it is Yukari. "And come I have~"

"So for what purpose must we conduct this experiment? Surely you wouldn't have called me all the way over to this place to simply sate your curiosity."

I avert my gaze "Of course not. We were wondering how two seemingly omnipotent transportation abilities would interact with each other, I assure you this will be relevant in our main plot."

"Oh my, then you better keep your word Mr. Ryan." Yukari smirks and cuts the air with her fan, leaving an opened gap in its path, a most useless motion since she can conjure them at will but for my own sake I will refrain from commenting any further.

"'Tis my turn now I presume, behold!" The other show-off sage creates a door on the 'back' of the gap???? Whatever that means, anyway it seems like it's all done.

We all approach the odd looking creation birthed into existence by the two sages and the ideas of deranged a individual. That came off weird but anyway, the deed was done.

"I fear this result was most unsatisfying."

"My, were you really thinking some sort of paradox would occur? Pfft."

"Well... What a waste of time this was." Okina and I are quite dissatisfied but it seems like someone else is quite enjoying our pitiful sight.

The gap hosting the door; or the door hosting the gap didn't have any sort of particularity to it, the two abilities simply overlaid over one another, I tried entering it but all that happened was the boring result of me passing through a gap and entering a door and vice versa.

"Damn."

"Alas it seems this experiment has failed." Okina says with a sad face.

"Fufufu, at least I managed to see falling over and over like a fool." Yukari giggled. "But I have wasted too much time in trivialities, I am a busy woman after all, and I promised Chen to take her to that popular Izakaya today. Bye bye~"

"Inhale Haaaaah..." 2x

After Yukari's departure, we were left wondering just what we were doing, however a question came to mind.

"Wait Okina so if you knew this outcome would happen then why didn't you just tell me outrigh-."

"-Pardon my sudden leave but my servants are calling for me, they have met the mad dog of Sh*mano and forgot their notes to ask for an autograph, farewell!"

"Wait Okina!" But before I could extend my hand to grab her sleeve, she had already left. "How the hell am I supposed to leave this place now."