The Volition

Sixteen

I felt a rush of warmth when I woke up. I looked down to see a heated blanket placed on top of me. I looked at my surroundings. The familiar white walls and soft beeping in the background. I was back at the hospital. I jiggled my wrists. Of course, bound again. I took a deep breath trying to stay calm. I seemed to always end up back here.

I looked out the window at the bright shinning sun and watched as trees swayed gracefully in the wind. I chewed on the inside of my cheek. The slide of the door caught my attention as it closed clicking softly. I didn't look. I knew who it was. The same person who fed my dog and cleaned up after my messes.

"You're awake." He said sitting down across from me.

I stared out the window as a bird swooped down and landed on a branch turning its head in each direction before flying away.

"You're not talking to me now?" He smirked.

I felt the taste of iron as the flesh of my cheek began to shred from how roughly I was biting into it. I licked the inside of my cheek trying to wipe away the bitterness.

"That's okay. I'll do the talking." Eli leaned closer clasping his hands and resting them on the edge of the hospital bed. I wiggled my nose having a bad itch but I couldn't scratch it. "You're sick." He said after a long pause. I huffed. "You're not doing too good and your judgment isn't the best at the moment." I rolled my eyes. "You flushed all of your pills, you're pain killers, everything." I felt the tugs of a smile forming. "What were you thinking? Did you give up? Do you want to die?" I took in a deep breath holding it. "Do you love him?" Eli asked. I looked at him harshly full of bitterness and rage. His eyes met mine with hurt and confusion. I finally took a long look at him. He seemed tired and weak. He looked like he had been fighting for such a long time and now it didn't seem like he could fight much longer.

I shook my head at him, "you wouldn't understand." I whispered.

"You're right." He said angrily. It threw me and I looked at him again, "I wouldn't know." He went on, "You don't tell me anything. You won't include me." He stood up, "I need air." He said walking out of the room slamming the door behind him.

Alone again. I turned my head back to the window. I didn't fight the tears anymore. I welcomed them like old friends. I bit my lower lip gnawing on it subconsciously. I listened to a dog bark in the distance and sucked my lower lip all the way in biting down harder deep in thought. Finally I relaxed my shoulders and looked up at the ceiling.

Eli walked back in a little later holding a tray of green Jell-o. I looked at it raising my eyebrows.

"I'm not eating that." I said convicted.

"Good thing it's not for you then." Eli said casually sitting down in the chair across from me again. He leaned back placing the tray on an end table nearby grabbing the Jell-o and dipping a spoon into it. He stuck it in his mouth moaning as if it was the best food he's ever tasted.

"Did you just eat my Jell-o?" I asked scrunching my eyebrows together.

"No. You didn't want it. You said so yourself." He said through chewing up the green blubber.

I smiled. It was nice to be able to banter like this with him. I frowned though after remembering why I was linked to the sides of the hospital bed.

"So..." I trailed off.

"So..." Eli mimicked taking another bite of Jell-O.

"Could you put that down please? I can't talk to you while you're eating that stuff." I made a gag noise.

"Fine." Eli tilted the rest of what was inside into his mouth swallowing making a show of it opening his mouth satisfied. He grinned. "What's up buttercup?"

I lowered my eyes to my wrist, "I'm sorry." I muttered.

"Why?" Eli asked.

I looked up at him trying to see if he was messing with me, "Eli, I really do like you. And I am grateful for all you've done for me."

"But..." He leaned back patiently waiting for me to finish.

"But nothing. I just... I don't know. I can't explain it." I looked around the room in case the words were hiding somewhere I had missed. "Please don't hate me." I whimpered.

Eli stood walking over to me. He stroked the hair away from my face gently smiling sweetly. He leaned down and kissed my forehead rubbing the spot he had just kissed. My stomach got all knotted up and confused.

"I couldn't hate you if I tried. And I did." He chuckled, "Look, I don't know why, but I'm fighting so hard for you there's just something about you. You make me-"

"Don't you dare say complete." I mumbled moving my head to the other wall as Eli burst out laughing. I turned back to look at him.

"No, well I mean yes in a way I suppose. You're just so different. You're not like the other girls." I bit my lower lip again, "I really like you. I knew it was you when we first met. The first time I saw you in the grocery store and..." He shook his head in thought smiling, "I just knew." He stared into my eyes and I felt pulled to stay looking at him.

"Eli..." I began.

He shook his head, "If you don't fight then I will. I want a tomorrow with you. I want to take you to the fair like we were suppose to go today. I want to take you to dinner. I want to browse a book store with you and listen to whatever music you listen to. I want to build you a book shelf." I laughed at that one as tears stung the corners of my eyes. "I want this to work but it can't if you don't give something. Even just something small."

The feelings deep down inside me stirred and I knew he was right. I nodded my head, "Okay." I whispered smiling.

"Okay?" He asked smiling.

"I'll get the surgery." I nodded my head, "I'll fight with you."

He kissed my forehead and then my cheeks. He looked at me with such sincerity. He kissed my lips with his softly. I closed my eyes.

I didn't think of Kyle this time.

Authors note:
Woo! What's happening???? Hopefully our girl here can get the help she needs! Let me know what you think though! Vote and comment! Love you all :)