The Volition

Nineteen

I woke up groggy moving my head back and forth trying to open my eyes. My head felt like it weighed a million pounds. I moaned as I tried to peel my eyes open. The light was blinding. It was like someone stabbing repeatedly in my skull.

"Hey." I looked around the room trying to focus on the voice. I looked at Eli leaning over me holding my hand tightly.

I smiled weakly, "Hey."

"They moved the surgery up two hours so you could be seen sooner. They're getting the OR ready now."

"That's nice." I nodded closing my eyes gulping down the lump in my throat.

"Hey wake up! Come on you gotta keep your eyes open!" Eli nudged me roughly and I groaned with each jolt of pain.

"Eli please." I whispered.

"Okay Mr. Sommer visiting hours are over. We're going to start prepping her." I could hear the nurse and Eli as he left the room before saying goodbye and kissing the top of my head.

The pain in my head was intolerable. The room kept spinning any time I tried to open my eyes.

"Hey Ace." The familiar voice came clearer than the morning sun.

"Kyle." I smiled without even opening my eyes. "You're here."

"Of course I am Ace. I wouldn't leave you for anything."

I felt the cold tears running down the sides of my face as I whimpered in the bed, "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"It's okay Ace. I understand."

"Kyle I am so sorry. Please forgive me." I cried.

"Hey," he shushed me, "This isn't the time for tears." I felt him holding my hand squeezing tightly.

"I wouldn't trade the memories for anything." I said eyes still shut tightly.

"Me either Ace." I could feel Kyle let go, "Me either." I heard him walking away from me as a nurse came in.

"Okay honey I'm going to give you something to put you to sleep. Ready?"

I opened my eyes then looking at the doorway as Kyle leaned against the frame, his hands in his pockets wearing that stupid black hoodie still unzipped. He smiled at me waving goodbye. Then he turned around and walked away just as my eyes closed again and I fell back into darkness.

When I woke up I felt nothing. No pain. Nothing but the dull ache in my heart as if someone had died. I looked around the room but I was alone. Slowly I lifted my hand to my head. It was tightly wrapped in gauze.

"We didn't have to shave much of your hair. Just a little patch you can easily hide with a side part." It was Dr. Schwartzky. "At least that's what I am told." He smiled.

"So it's over?" I asked.

"It's over." He nodded.

"No more Kyle?"

"No sweetie. No more Kyle. He's gone now. Forever."

I bit back the tears smiling. I rested my head back into the pillow closing my eyes, "Okay." I said weakly.

Eli came in holding a bouquet of flowers of all kinds of different colors. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I smiled in relief. He rushed over putting the flowers on the nightstand pulling me close to him. I breathed in his scent crying deeply into his shoulder.

"He's gone." I whispered. "He's gone." I breathed out.

"I know." He rocked me back and forth and we stayed that way for sometime.

He let me cry holding me tightly. I'm not sure if he thought I was crying out of sadness or relief but I didn't care. I gripped the back of his shirt pulling him closer to me wailing loudly into him.

"Eli?" I coughed out crying.

"I know." He whispered into my ear.

I stayed an extra night at the hospital but they released me the next day. I thanked the doctor for saving me and got into Eli's car. As he pulled out of the parking lot I turned around looking at it one last time.

"I don't ever want to go back there again." I said.

Eli laughed, "At least not for a very long time.

I sighed sinking back into his car seat letting him drive me home. I looked out the window watching the houses fly past me. I smiled knowing I had dodged a big one. I could have died. I should be grateful.

I looked at Eli driving carefully making sure to stop as slowly as possible in case the sudden movement would hurt my head. He was so wonderful. I was lucky he came into the library when he did.

"Thank you." I said.

Eli looked at me out of the corner of his eye, "For what?"

"Everything." I said shaking my head.

He reached over taking my hand, "How many times do I have to tell you? I'd do anything for you."

"I know." I looked at him and smiled. "I, uh, I like you too."

He looked at me grinning, "You do?"

"Yeah, why are you looking at me like that?" I laughed.

"Well you could've fooled me."

"Hey!" I hit him playfully on his arm.

"I had to compete with a fantasy! It wasn't easy!" He defended himself.

I rolled my eyes laughing at him, "I know." I looked at him smiling, "Thanks."

"Yeah you said that already." He smirked.

"I know that. I just wanted to say it again."

"Hey," Eli pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head, "You don't ever have to thank me. I'd do it all over again."

I looked up at him smiling through the veil of tears in my eyes. I pushed them back. I was ready to move forward with Eli. I was ready to see the next stage of my life and be with him. And only him. No more secrets or games. I was ready to be fully open. I wanted to be fully open. I chuckled softly into his shoulder.

"What?" Eli asked.

"Nothing." I shook my head, "Just thinking."

"About what?" He peered down at me as I straightened looking at him.

"Face masks and burritos." I said smiling.

Author's note:
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