The Volition

Eighteen

I woke up smiling. I could leave the psych ward in a few hours and I couldn't be happier. I let the warm water run down my head as I stood in the shower. I tilted my head up toward the shower head grabbing my shoulders pulling them down and stretching my neck. I felt so relaxed and calm. I would leave the ward tonight and tomorrow I was having the surgery. I was ready to move on and close this chapter of my life.

I put on the white scrubs they gave us. I pulled my hair back and braided it quickly. I looked around my room one last time and left ready to close the door tightly never to be reopened.

I took my usual spot at the window sill waiting patiently for my last few hours of the psych ward to end and Eli to pick me up and take me home. My friend sat down as our routine had fallen into place.

"You leave today right?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Excited?"

I smiled nodding again, "Yeah."

"Good for you."

I looked at her. I leaned into my knees hugging them resting my chin on top. "You going to be okay?" I asked.

"Don't be getting sentimental on my pal." She rolled her eyes.

"I mean it." I took a deep breath, "It wasn't your fault. You know that right?"

She looked at me with eyes so tired, "It was my fault." She smiled weakly.

"No, like you said, the car came out of nowhere."

She looked at me like she felt bad for me, "We were coming home from a party." She began, "Lance drank like half a bottle. He could barely stand." This time she let the tears fall, "I drank maybe two glasses. Two and a half tops." She took a deep breath, "I wasn't wasted like he was. So I took the keys." Her eyes lowered. "He offered to get us a cab but I didn't want to waste the money having to go back to get our car the next day so I insisted I just drive." She shook her head softly and looked at me smiling, "I knew I couldn't drive. I took the turn so fast though that I couldn't slow down for the stoplight." She bit her bottom lip, "So I ran it." She shrugged one of her shoulders squirming in her seat.

I reached out and held her hand, "You'll be okay." I said patting her gently.

"How do you know?" She asked.

"Because I'm going to be okay." I smiled, "And if I can do it, clearly so can you."

I stood leaving her there. The rest of my stay went by pretty quickly and soon Eli was there to pick me up. The nurse at the front desk handed me a bag with the clothes I was wearing the night I came to the hospital. I smiled taking my belongings grabbing Eli's hand as we began to walk out of that miserable place.

"Just going to leave without saying goodbye?"

I turned around smiling, "Don't be getting sentimental on me pal."

She pulled me into a hug and I held her tightly, "Don't come back." She whispered into my ear.

"You either." I whispered back.

On the drive home I made Eli keep the windows down. It felt good to have the wind blow in my face. Eli held my hand the entire time since he picked me up. He never let it go. I can't say I minded.

"What do you feel like doing tonight?" He said.

"Let's just hang out back at my place." I looked at him smiling. I rested my head on his shoulder. It felt good to be going home.

We pulled in soon enough and Eli opened my door. Stepping out we walked up the crumbling stone path to my door. I unlocked the door and there Kuma waited wagging her tail barking. I smiled and buried my face into her fur holding her tightly.

"I'm going to change clothes real quick." I smiled walking upstairs.

The second I opened the door to my room I immediately stripped off the white scrubs and threw them into the waist bin glad to be rid of them. I changed into a navy blue dress that reached the bottom of my knees. I twirled in the mirror happy with the familiar soft fabric hugging my body. I practically skipped back down stairs and into Eli's arms kissing him on the cheek.

"You look nice." He smiled.

"Thank you."

We walked over to the couch and I pressed into him bringing his arm over my shoulder and rested my head on his chest closing my eyes.

"Are you scared?" He asked.

"A little." I answered honestly.

"About dying?"

I shook my head, "Not really."

"Kyle?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I know it sounds crazy and stupid. I get it. But... He was my best friend for a while." I turned and looked up at Eli, "I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about this."

"No." He looked down at me, "I want to. I want to know everything about you. That includes the things that hurt." He kissed the top of my head.

"Why?" I asked him.

He smiled at me laughing, "Because I like you. Whether you like it or not, I'm not going anywhere." He brushed my hair away from my face kissing me again, "Now start from the beginning."

"We'll be here for a while." I mumbled.

"That's okay I have all night." He leaned his head back into the couch closing his eyes.

"Are you sleeping?" I asked him elbowing him in the side.

"Ow!" He groaned holding where I'd hit him mocking severe pain, "What was that for?"

"You were going to fall asleep on me!" I laughed.

"You said it was a long story, I was just resting my eyes." He grumbled. "Besides shouldn't you be telling me your deepest darkest secrets? Not elbowing me in the ribs?"

I picked up a throw pillow and bopped him across the face. "Whatever" I rolled my eyes.

Suddenly I felt Eli grip my waist and fling me off the couch as he stood suddenly. I rolled on the carpet laughing as he pinned me down tickling my sides quickly. I tried to get from under him my sides splitting from laughter. I arched my back trying as hard as I could to wiggle out of his hold. I reached inching my fingers closer to the pillow gripping at it hard. I thrusted it at his head and he stumbled backward surprise in his eyes. I took the chance and leaped up running away from him laughing.

Eli ran after me grabbing me and lifting me in the air. I screamed out with delight and he spun me around quickly holding on to me tightly as I squirmed in his grip. He kissed me hard and I stopped fighting melting into his arms. I smiled kissing him back holding him tightly.

I was so happy. I felt so good in that moment. I smiled laughing into the night. I felt complete elation. I didn't even feel it at first. The pin prick in my head. The small growing pain but I could then and I began to shake violently. Spit flew from my mouth as Eli gently placed me on the ground holding my head steady. My body convulsed and I wasn't scared. I let it take over me. I let the darkness wrap itself and intertwine itself inside me until I couldn't see or hear anything at all.

Authors note:
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