The Volition

Two

My home is modest at best, clean when I expect company, "slightly lived in" when it's just me and Kuma.

It has a small kitchen just big enough for one with a bit of an add on serving currently as a dinning room. The living room does have a fireplace with a coffee table and rug. The rug has a wine stain off to the side where Kuma knocked it over one night as she ran to lay down with me. The couch has been loved and seen all sides of my humble living including falling asleep, flopping down heavily exhausted, and angrily kicking and throwing tantrums.

There are books everywhere. I don't own a tv. I do own a bookcase but my books don't all fit. They're randomly stacked here and there, serving as legs under my dinning room table, being used as an end table for a lamp, they just seem to pile up.

My bedroom and only bathroom that was probably a hallway in its previous life, are upstairs. I don't own a bed frame so my mattress sits on the floor.

Even though to the untrained eye, it may seem like my home is a disaster, to the beholder who really can see beauty in a wreckage can tell it is an utter disaster.

Kuma, my black Akita, greeted me as usual at the door with her doggish grin. I smiled and ruffled my hand through her fur squishing her ears down. I wish dogs didn't have ears.

Setting my keys down on the counter, I opened the fridge and stared at the contents. Britta water and one piece of turkey bacon. I'm not sure why I didn't eat the last piece of turkey bacon when I made it. I also can't remember the last time I ate turkey bacon which makes me question how long this piece has been sitting in my fridge.

I closed the door and walked away immediately getting amnesia and walking back to reopen the fridge. I closed it one more time and sighed with my hand still on the handle. One last time I reopened the fridge just to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Nope still just water and questionable turkey bacon.

I rolled my eyes and walked away. I slumped on my couch and Kuma curled in front of me falling asleep instantly. I looked at my collection of beautiful lives on paper. I trailed my hand down a nearby stack of women meeting their lovers for the first time. About women who are clever and said all the right things. Women who are bizarre and exotic, women who's hair is always perfect and don't need to wear makeup. I picked up a book and flipped through the pages setting it back down on the stack dangerously reenacting the leaning tower of Pisa.

I wrapped an arm behind my head and leaned back thinking about how my life could have gone had I too said all the right things and giggle at the right moments. I brought a strand of hair to my face and stared at it. Dark brown, almost black. Curly and frizzed out. I grazed my cheek, bumpy from were I was beginning to break out. Dry skin. Not attractive skin.

Kuma looked at me through sleepy eyes smiling. She may be the only one to love me. But then again I do feed her on a regular basis so I'm sure that might have something to do with it.

"One day I'll get married" I promised.

Kuma sneezed and put her head back down. After a few minutes I heard her begin to snore.

Authors note:
Hey readers! Tell me what you think! What do you like and not like? And please vote so I know I should continue!! Thank you all so much!