Bitter Sweet Love || Hanzo x Reader

Are you okay?

It was pitch dark and I was trying to find my way around my husband's office. I tried to find my way along the shelves, trying to find the large desk that had some of my stuff on it. As I finally made my way to his desk, I got a weird feeling that someone, or something was watching me. I knew the house was guarded and nobody could ever make a way inside here, without getting noticed, but I had that weird feeling. Squinting my eyes, I tried to figure out which of the things were mine in order to get out of here as quickly as possible.  If my husband knew that I was here alone, he would be so angry at me. I had no right to be here without him, but only because he didn't want me to get involved in his business. When I finally found my things, I walked quickly towards the door, trying to ignore the feeling that someone was still watching me. So I walked along the shelves again and grabbed the doorknob.  But when I wanted to open the door I noticed how something was pressed against my throat. I froze in shock and I tried to stay as calm as possible. I knew someone was holding a katana against my throat and I knew I wasn't able to fight back. "Who are you?" I asked as calm as possible, not expecting any answer. "What are you doing here?" A robotic voice asked me. But that voice it sounded so familiar. "I...live here." I said. At least I knew that I wasn't the person he expected to find here but I didn't know if that was good or bad. That person was surely here for my husband, but coming here to find him, was pure suicide. "Where is Hanzo Shimada?" The person asked me, pressing his katana a bit more against my throat. I could feel the blade nearly cutting my skin, and I started to panic a bit. I wasn't going to tell him anything, not only because Hanzos life was more important to me than anything, but also because it was my duty as his wife to keep him safe. "I'm not going to tell you anything. You won't find him, not as long as I'm alive." I said trying to sound as threatening as I could, and I feel how the sword was moved away for a view inches. "Why would you give your life for his?" The familiar voice asked me, and I could clearly hear his confusion. "You came here, you should know who I am." I said. "It's my duty, to keep my husband safe.". With that sentence the sword lowered and the person took a few steps back. I still didn't dare to move since I still feared to be killed as soon as I took a step. "Hanzo Shimada doesn't have a wife...you better tell me the truth now" That person said. I don't know who send him and what his boss told him about Hanzo, but it seems like he didn't know much about him. "Like I said, I'm his wife." I said, the man raised his sword again and pressed it against my throat. "Don't play with me." He said and I could clearly hear his frustration. I wanted to say something as I heard someone yell for me. "Y/n, I'm home. Where are you?!". It was Hanzo, who finally made his way home. I felt the urge of yelling his name build up in my mind, but the sword against my throat was holding me back. I knew that Hanzo would knew that something was wrong, since I didn't came to great him. I just hopped he would find me within the next few minutes. "Don't you dare say anything." The man hissed at me, and I remained silent. The man grabbed my arm and pulled me a few steps back from the door, this was the first time, I could see a bit of him. I listened to every sound I heard outside the office, and jumped a bit as I heard fast steps walking past the office. Please Hanzo...just find me already. I thought. I felt how my body tensed up within every second that past. Suddenly the door bursts open and the light of the hallway brightened up the room. This was the first time I could see the person next to me completely, and I was surprised to see an cyborg. With his bow drawn, Hanzo walked into the office and aimed at the man who was still holding me. "Let go of my wife, or I promise you this is the last day that you'll have seen." I never heard Hanzo this angry nor this extremely serious. The grip around my arm loses and the katana was slowly lowered. As soon as I could I run towards Hanzo, I hide behind his back. "What do you want here?" Hanzo asked the man, still aiming at him. But we didn't get any answer. The man just run towards the window and climbed out of it, in a very quick speed. Hanzo lowered his bow, taking a deep breath. He turned towards me and looked worried at me. "Are you okay?" He asked stroking a few hairs out of my face. Hearing him so worried about me, was weird. Hanzo and I were forced to marry each other, but within the last years I really started to love him, but he never showed a sign of feelings towards me. Seeing him this worried about me, made me gain hope, he would feel the same for me. But what were I thinking? Only the thought about Hanzo having feelings towards me, made me feel stupid. So I brushed it off, acting like everything was normal. "Yeah, everything is fine...Thanks." I said, turned around and left. It really hurts loving someone so deeply and knowing you'll never get to be loved this way. I would die for him, but he wouldn't even look at me in the way I'd look at him. I walked outside in the garden to my comfortplace, looking around carefully all the time, to see if that man was still nearby. I sat down on the bench next to the pond, watching the fish swim slowly circles and the fireflies dancing around. I sighed. I could have died today, and only to keep Hanzo save. I looked at my reflection on the water and noticed a tiny cut on my throat. I didn't even realize that I got hurt, I was only worried about Hanzo being save. Scenes flashed back in my head and I heard this familiar voice again. I tried to remember where I heard this voice before, but the only person that came in my mind couldn't be that man from today.
I remember his statue and how he used his Katana...but it could never be him, or could it be him? He left me, so why would he come back, what happened to him that he'd look like that? But the more important question was, why would he hurt me?
I touched the little cut on my throat, feeling how my stomach twist at the thought that Genji might have been that man.
I heard how someone walked out of the house and came towards me. "Why are you sitting here? You know that it is dangerous right now to be here." I heard Hanzos voice behind me. "I were just thinking about what happened. Besides, nobody was here." I said trying to give him an answer that would please him. And this answer seemed to please him, since he didn't asked any further. We remained a few minutes silent. He just standing behind me, and watching me while I was watching my own reflection in the water. "I was going to make some tea, would you like some?". Hanzo may didn't love me, but he always made sure I still would feel comfortable. "Yes, I would like some." I answered and sat up following Hanzo inside the house. After everything that happened today I really could've used a hug today, but I knew Hanzo was not the man who was willing to comfort me in that way.
I watched him brew our tea, and as usual we didn't say a word to each other. As always we just lived next to each other, but never together, something I really wished for.
I took my tea and was about to leave the kitchen as Hanzo started to talk. "I knew today must have been traumatizing, just know I'm here if you want to talk.". Without thinking about my words I just answered. "It wasn't traumatizing at all...my only worry was to keep you save.". Seconds after I said that, I already regretted it. "What do you mean?" He asked and looked questioning at me. "I just mean, they searched for you and, it's my duty as your wife to keep you safe." I said trying to convince him that this was the only reason why I did what I did. But in Hanzos face I saw that he didn't believe what I just said. "If you say so." He simply said and took a sip of his tea. Only then I realized that there were some blood on his sleeve, coloring his white shirt red. "What happened?" I asked and pointed at his sleeve. He looked at his sleeve and then back at me, his lip drew a thin line. "Nothing to worry about, I just got into a little trouble." He said coldly, trying to avoid my gaze. I knew what the Shimada Clan did, and I knew what Hanzos job was, but I think I could never support it. Even though I knew what person Hanzo was, I still loved him, and I wouldn't leave his side.
"What were you doing in my office anyway? Were you searching for something in my belongings?" Hanzo asked ripping me out of my thoughts. "No I just wanted to get some of my files that I left the last time. I didn't know when you would come home. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been there." I said apologizing, avoiding his eye contact. "I forgive you. Just don't do it again, I really don't want to involve you in any business that has to do with the clan. I think our parents did enough by forcing us to marry each other. You shouldn't risk your life because of their mistakes.". Mistakes? So he really thought about me as a mistake. Hearing something like that out of his mouth, hurts like hell. I really tried to keep my feelings together and not letting my emotions get the best of me, but I couldn't stop that one tear running down my cheek. I wiped it away as soon as I noticed it. But not only I noticed it, Hanzo did too. "Did I say something to upset you?". How could he sound so formal even after seeing me cry? Was a bit love to much to ask for? "No, I'm sorry I didn't mean to confuse you. I better leave now." I placed the empty teamcup on the counter, and walked out of the kitchen. Hanzo didn't say anything anymore and just watched me leave.
I decided to go on one of my beloved night walks, even if it may be not the best idea. I took my Katana that Hanzo got my on the day we first trained together, and sneaked outside. I don't know if Hanzo ever noticed me leaving that late, nor if he just didn't care. I walked down the street that was lightened by a few laterns. I breathed the cold air, and felt the wind against my skin. I truly loved being outside at night, even though it was really dangerous. But I didn't care since I was trained by Hanzo Shimada himself.
I walked a few minutes only to realize someone was following me, so I instantly stopped walking. "You are a fool for following me.." I said without facing the person behind me. "And you are a fool for walking alone at this hour.". I recognized that voice and my blood froze at the thought of the events from today. "Don't worry I won't do anything...I just want to know something." The man said calmly keeping his distance. And finally I was able to face him.
It was really him, the man who broke into the office. We looked each other up and down, like we meet someone we knew, but haven't seen for years. "Do you recognize me?" The man asked me. Of course I had a feeling who he could be, but seeing him made my thoughts seem wrong. He really sounded like him and I really wished for a chance to ask Genji why he left me. But I was unsure if that man, was really him.
I shook my head, denying my thoughts. "That's sad, but how could you even recognize me..." he truly sounded disappointed and I actually felt bad for lying to him. "Maybe you could tell me who you are." I said, hoping that it would brighten up his mood. "I won't...But do me a favor, ask your husband if his brother really left or what happened that day. Maybe you'll finally find the answer you were looking for.". And with that the man left me standing alone. Why did he say that, was Hanzo hiding something from me? Or was that just a plan to confuse me, to make me go against Hanzo. I didn't know why, but I kind of trusted that person.
After finishing my usual route I decided to finally go back home. I was terribly tired and I my whole body felt sore.
So it was really time to go to sleep.
I sneaked back into the house, bringing my Katana back where it belonged and made my way to my room. I layed down into my bed and sighed out of releave that this day was finally over.