Bitter Sweet Love || Hanzo x Reader

A Promise

Hours passed and I haven't seen Hanzo since I left after that situation. Again I was sitting on the bench near the pond. It was a beautiful time of the day to be here. The sun was reflecting on the water and pink cherry blossoms graced the water.
I was thinking about Hanzo and how he carefully stroked my wound, and about the fact how worried he sounded. I really can't make sense of him. Most of the time he comes across as cold and distant, making our marriage look like a mistake. But then he is loving and caring and you could get the feeling that he has feelings for me.
I wish we could be a normal married couple, as normal as it would be possible for us.
I hear how someone walked towards me and as I turned around to look at that person, I was surprised seeing Hanzo. Without saying anything he sat down next to me, and nervously adjusted his black gloves. I couldn't help but admire him as he looked stunning in his suit. Even though his hair looked the same as always, I loved that he always had that streak in front of his face. After a while I noticed that Hanzo smiled slightly and then I realized how conspicuously I had been looking at him the whole time. Embarrassed, I turned away and looked back at the pond where I could see mine and Hanzo's reflection. "I understand why you spend so much time here, it's beautiful. Peaceful to be honest." Hanzo suddenly said softly and looked at me with a slight smile. Nevertheless he seemed terribly nervous because he was tugging at his gloves the whole time. Seeing him smile at me like that made me blush, I wish I could see him smile more often. We remained silent as usual for a moment but I actually quite enjoyed it this time. "There is something I wanted to talk about with you." He broke the silence after a while. "There are a few issues I need to take care of and I don't know when I'll be back it could take a couple of days, but I think I should be back in a week at the latest.". While telling me this he sounded like he was sad that he had to leave for that time. "I know it's really risky for you to be alone now, and I don't want you to be in danger. But you're saver here than coming with me.". So he was worried about my safety, that something could happen to me while he's gone. "Don't worry about me, I can defend myself.." I said and he chuckled a bit at my answer. "Believe me, I think I know best that you can defend yourself.". He said and looked me briefly in the eyes. "And again I'm sorry that you had to learn this way." I said smiling and looked nervously at my fingers. It has been a really long time that Hanzo and I have been talking like that, and I actually felt so comfortable around him. Even though it was more of a goodbye and see you soon than a normal small talk. "Are you going to be okay? I mean is that mission dangerous you're going on?" I asked and gave Hanzo a worried look. He didn't answer directly, he sighed and looked at the water trying to find the right answer. "Let's just say, if I'm not coming back in two weeks...Please don't look for me. I want you to be save and the only way to keep you save is, that you'll never get in any contact with my business...". Hearing Hanzo say that he doesn't want me to look for him, if he shouldn't come back, made me sick to my stomach. I would risk my life for him but I understood his thoughts in keeping me save. It was good to know that he cared about me and my safety. I really appreciated that. "What if I'd come looking for you?" I asked just out of curiosity what his answer would be. He instantly turned to look at me and gave me a dead serious look. "I say this one more time Y/n, don't come just stay here where it's save. Everything else would be pure suicide.". At least I knew from his unequivocal answer how dangerous his plan was. While Hanzo may be an incredibly good fighter, hearing him so concerned and serious made me worry that he really might not come back. The thought of confessing my feelings to him before he leaves crossed my mind briefly, but I quickly pushed that thought aside out of fear Hanzo might not feel the same. Or that he would think I was crazy. So we remained silent. We were just sitting next to each other looking at the water with the beautiful pink cherry blossoms swimming on top. Sometimes we would catch each other briefly looking at the other one and then back at the water. Even though we sat like that for a long time, we didn't say another word. Eventually the sun went down and the wind got cold. I noticed how I was starting to freeze, and this did not go unnoticed by hanzo either. "Come on Y/n, let's go inside, you're freezing. I'll make you some tea and then we can have dinner. Let's just make sure you're not getting a cold.". Hearing him talk like that made my heart warm. I always wanted that, but I knew it was probably only because he would be gone soon.
Hanzo got up and waited for me to follow him into the house. Arrived in the kitchen I watched him as he prepared tea for us, and during dinner pure silence reigned again. Normally we would spend time apart again, like we always did after dinner. But when I was only a few minutes back in my room, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, Hanzo was standing in front of the door with two blankets in his hands. I looked at him confused as he usually never spoke to me after dinner. "Would you keep me company for a little? We could sit down by the pond for a little longer." he said and held out one of the blankets to me. I didn't know how to react as his behavior was very unusual. He was probably just being nice since he would be leaving soon and was afraid of what was to come himself. "Of course you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought you might want a little more company before I have to go.". Hanzo pulled me out of my thoughts. Of course he only did it because of me, I was hoping he did it because he wanted to spend time with me himself. But maybe what I asked for was just too selfish. After all, I can't ask anyone to have feelings for me. But I could at least spend the time I have with him as best as I can. I grabbed one of the blankets and smiled at Hanzo. "That's a good idea, I'd like to spend a little more time with you.". Hanzo gave me a slight smile in response and made our way out with me.
We sat in silence for a while, until Hanzo suddenly broke the silence. "Are you afraid of what's coming? That something might happen to you here?" he asked and turned to me a bit. I briefly considered what I should answer him, but I decided to tell him the truth. "A little. I'm scared of someone breaking in here threatening me again and this time you're not here to help me. But I'm a lot more worried about you." I said, fidgeting with my fingers nervously. "Why about me?" he asked and gave me a confused look. "You're risking your life and I'm afraid this might be the last time we talk." I felt fear building inside me, fear of his reaction, and that he would reject me. I was scared he would figure out, how I really felt about him. "Are you really afraid that you won't see me again?" he asked cautiously and turned a little more towards me. I just nodded. "Then my company can't be as bad as I always thought." he said and chuckled a bit. "It's actually quite nice to spend time with you.". Hanzo looked at me in disbelief. Maybe I was wrong and he seemed to care what I thought about him, and was afraid that I didn't like his company. "I'm serious, I would be happy if we could do something like this more often. After all these years together, you've become... quite important to me." I said and tried to downplay my feelings as much as possible. I kind of wanted him to know what I felt but on the other side, I was too scared of his reaction. I turned my attention towards him, to see how he reacted to my answer, but without warning, Hanzo suddenly hugged me and I didn't know how to react to that, out of shock. "What was the hug for?" I asked hesitantly. I noticed that there were some emotions in the hug, which made me all more curious why he hugged me. "For now, take it as a promise..." he replied, looking at the floor. "A promise for what?" I asked. "A promise that I'll come back...".