Bitter Sweet Love || Hanzo x Reader

Realization

*Pov Hanzo*

When I returned from the mission it was already late at night. The Overwatch base was empty and not a sound could be heard. Morrison said goodbye as soon as we arrived and made his way to his room. While I also made my way to ours, I thought about the mission again.
Being back at Shimada Castle was harder than I expected. Seeing everything again that once belonged to me and was now, just a few days after my disappearance, in the hands of the Hashimoto. Especially when we sneaked through the garden and passed the fish pond where Y/n sat every day. Made me think back to watching her sometimes and wishing I could sit there with her again. Watching the sunsets and sunrises hand in hand with her. I would talk to her about everything that was bothering me. But we weren't there to dwell in the past, but to gather information and get something that I once wanted to give to Y/n. I opened the door to our room and put my things on a chair. I looked towards our bed, but Y/n didn't seem to be lying in it. Where was she at this time? Concerned, I continued to look around the room to see if there was any clue to Y/n's whereabouts. Until I suddenly heard some noises coming from the bathroom. I gently knocked on the bathroom door, assuming Y/n would answer me straight away. But there was no answer. I carefully opened the door worriedly and saw Y/n sitting on the floor. Leaning her back against the wall. She covered her stomach with her right hand, but I couldn't miss her bloody bandage. I immediately crouched down in front of her. I looked at her worriedly. A hand placed on her face, thumb stroking her cheek. I hoped that would calm her down. She looked at me weakly, and when she realized it was me, she also took her hand away from the wound. The bandage looked terrible, but I could tell that it was a new one that she had probably gotten today. I knew what had to be done now. After all, I couldn't let her sit like that. I got a new bandage from the first aid cabinet in our bathroom. "I'm going to give you a new bandage. Please hold still, I don't want to hurt you any further." I said as I carefully helped pull her shirt further up. As I did this, I suddenly felt completely different. I felt warm and my skin started to tingle. I had never seen Y/n like this before. But this was not the time for such feelings. So I brought my thoughts back to the current situation and carefully removed her bandage. Every now and then she took a painful breath. I feel so guilty that it caused her pain. But I knew there was no other way. When the bandage was finally properly applied, I helped Y/n up from the floor. I actually wanted to help her walk, but I noticed how difficult it was for her. So I carefully picked her up and carried her bridal style to our bed. I carefully laid her down and made sure that I didn't hurt her again when I covered her up. I carefully lay down next to her, whereupon she snuggled up to me. I was confused, but not averse to her actions. "Thank you Hanzo," I heard her say quietly before she slowly fell asleep. The way she lay there on my chest, sleeping peacefully. That feeling of warmth and contentment came over me again. I gently stroked her hair, afraid that it would wake her up. I knew that I couldn't go on like this forever and keep denying my feelings. But the only reason I didn't want to allow these feelings was because I believed that I had stolen Y/n from my brother. I believed that I had taken Genji away from Y/n. I couldn't shake this feeling of regret that came over me whenever I approached her. I admit, all I ever wanted, even back when I met Y/n, was to have her by my side. I'm ashamed to think about that I desired my brother's girlfriend so much, even now that she is my wife. Y/n may assume that I see our marriage as a duty, a burden. But the day I found out that she was to be my wife was one of the best days of my life. But at what price? Y/n pulled me out of my thoughts as she snuggled up to me even tighter in her sleep. I sighed. Having her in my arms like that is all I ever wanted. I knew that I could no longer hold back my feelings. But I was afraid. Afraid of her reaction and afraid of what would happen now that Genji had returned to our lives. I decided to leave my thoughts alone for today and get some sleep as well. I carefully put my arm around Y/n, which made me smile a little. It wasn't long before I fell asleep too.