Bitter Sweet Love || Hanzo x Reader

Helping Hand

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't as rested as I've ever been. I hardly slept because of the thought of Hanzo leaving that morning. I turned my head to see the time on my alarm clock, and I jumped as I saw that Hanzo was going to leave soon.
I jumped out of bed to get dressed quickly and ran down the stairs into the hallway. When I got there, I saw Hanzo about to leave. "Hanzo, wait!" I called after him, which I regretted the next second out of embarrassment. But when Hanzo heard me he stopped abruptly and turned to me with a smile on his face. In his eyes, however, I saw that he was quite sad. "I was hoping you'd wake up before I go." Hanzo said when I finally stood in front of him. "I was hoping you wouldn't leave until you said goodbye..." I said with a broken voice.
"I thought it would be easier for me if I left like this." Hanzo said and his smile slowly faded. How does he mean that it would be easier for him? Did he feel bad leaving me here alone, or did I make him feel bad yesterday. "How do you mean that?" I asked Hanzo since this question really bothered me. Hanzo looked me in the eye and forced a small smile on his lips. I jumped when he suddenly put his hand on my cheek and gently stroked my face with his thumb. My heart immediately started beating faster and tears formed up in my eyes as I thought about the fact that this was our goodbye. "That's a question I'd like to answer you, when I get back." Hanzo said softly, stepping a little closer to me. Before I could realize what was going happen, he gave me a light kiss on the forehead. Speechless and unable to move an inch, I looked at Hanzo in amazement. Did that really just happen? Hanzo took his hand away from my face and took a few steps back. "I promise I'll be back.". With these words he turned around and headed for the door. "You can't just go like that!" I said shocked as I had so many questions after what just happened. But he just smiled and waved goodbye again, before he closed the door behind him.
So there I was, alone. And I might never be able to confess my feelings to Hanzo again. What if he didn't come back, what would happen then? I don't know how much longer I stood in the hallway, staring at the door hoping he would come back, but as expected, nothing happened. I went back to my room with the plan not to come out until Hanzo got back. But just a few minutes later, one of the guards came into my room. "Ms. Shimada, you haven't had breakfast yet today. Mr. Shimada told me to make sure you had breakfast." I was touched to hear that Hanzo had such thoughts. "I'll be right there. Is there anything else Hanzo wanted?" I asked, out of curiosity if Hanzo might have thought more about what I would do when he was gone. "Not much, I'm supposed to train with you every day and make your daily tea, which you usually have with Mr. Shimada. Other than that, he didn't ask for anything else." he said politely and then left again.
And so the next few days went by, and each one was torture. I woke up every day to have breakfast alone and to train a few hours later. I drank my tea alone and spent the rest of the time at my favorite spot, hoping every second for Hanzo to come back. Without him, the house seemed so dreadfully empty, and I missed every little conversation we had. I missed seeing him, even if we just kept quiet.
Every day I asked the guards if they had any information about whether Hanzo would return and when, but they could never answer my questions. It had already been a week and I was trying to calm myself with the thought that maybe something had come up. But the more days passed, the more scared I got. I spent most of my time in the hallway, sitting on a small wooden bench, staring at the door, hoping it would open soon and Hanzo would finally come home. And every day when it didn't open, I felt sick with fear and had to go to bed thinking I'd never see Hanzo again. I spent my nights either wide awake or having terrible nightmares.
The last day Hanzo could come back was here and I couldn't eat anything. I just sat there and waited. Minutes, hours but nothing happened, the door stayed closed and nobody came home.
So was that it? Hanzo wasn't coming back and I wasn't allowed to go looking for him. That was ridiculous, wasn't anyone here willing to tell me where Hanzo was and help me? I tried to talk to each of the guards, but none of them cooperated. Everyone told me the same thing. "Mr. Shimada specifically ordered us not to tell you anything, we should watch out for you and prevent you from any attempt to save him.". I couldn't hear that sentence anymore. I went outside angrily, trying to come up with a plan to find out where he is and a way to get out of here unnoticed.
"God, what should I do...I can't just stay here like nothing happened." I mumbled to myself. "I could help you Ms. Shimada." I turned to one of the guards, startled that someone had heard me. "I wouldn't normally invade your privacy, but I think this is a situation that allows for exceptions." The man smiled at me and I wasn't sure if I could trust him.
It was one of the older guards. He was already in the service of the Shimadas when Genji and Hanzo were very young. He had been training with Genji at the time and even after Genji's disappearance he remained loyal to the family.
"How could you help me?" I asked hesitantly. "I have contact with someone who can help you get to Mr. Shimada and save him. But this requires your complete trust.". I looked at him skeptically and thought about what to do, but it seemed to me that I had very few options. "Why should I trust you?". The man laughed briefly and then looked at me. "You shouldn't trust me, but him." he said, pointing past me. I turned around and saw the man who broke into our house standing in a corner of the garden. "How am I supposed to trust him?" I asked but the man had already disappeared back into the house.
I approached the man and he also approached me. "How did you get here? Without someone attacking you?" I asked immediately without thinking further. The man laughed before answering me. "How do you think I got in here that night? I have contacts who can get me in and out unnoticed.". Now somethings became clear to me. But I still had a question. "Who are you and why do you want to help me?". The man remained silent for a moment and seemed a little thoughtful.
"You actually know me very well and you know that you can trust me.." he started to say but he didn't seem sure if he could say what he wanted. "I won't tell you my name just yet, we'll save that for later. Let's just say I want Hanzo to live, no matter what he has done and will do..." he said after a while. I didn't know if that would be enough as an answer, but I guess I had no other choice.