When You Wake Up Married to Dan Howell

Chapter 2 - What the hell should we do?

Dan's POV

I'm horribly embarrassed. A random girl woke me up, and I was completely naked, for some reason. The last thing I remember, was entering some Las Vegas party club. The other things are pretty blurry. After Playlist Live, me, Phil, and some other friends went travelling around America a little bit and had a terrific time. But what the hell was this? Did I sleep with this girl, when I was horrifically drunk? Wait. What if she's some obsessed fan, who stalked me and Phil!?

"Dan!" I hear a shout from behind the door.

"I think we have a little problem," she says.

"Coming." I mumble, put on my shirt and step out. She's holding some shiny pink documents in her hand and showing them to me, with a scared and confused expression on her face.

"Molly's weddings." I read out loud. I see my name, and her name,(y/n), written on it.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I violently start swearing.

"Calm down..." She tries.

"No, I can't fucking calm down!!! For the first time in ages, Phil made me go to a party, and the first thing I did, was getting fucking married to a random girl I met, when I was so fucking drunk that I don't remember any fucking thing!!"

"Oh, so you think that I'm okay with that?? Do you think I'm happy about it!?" she screams back.

"You could probably be some mentally fucking damaged fangirl! How do I know your fucking life goal wasn't to stalk me!? What will happen when the fucking media realizes that? Huh??"

I can't help it. What does she expect me to say if I'm suddenly married to her, somehow.

"You fucking idiot!! It's true that I'm a fan, but just because I love your videos, I wouldn't fucking marry you against your will!! I was drunk, and I have no idea how we got into this situation! You're acting like a complete baby! I'd rather find a solution, if I were you! Ughh!!"

"Fine," I mumble and sigh afterwards.

"Sorry for being such a dick."

"Thank you. We should find the location of the Chapel, if I'm correct." she says, massaging her temples.

"Where even are we?" I ask, clearly annoyed.

"Um. I don't know. We should find our hotels first, I think. We can't do much without our laptops or WiFi, though." I nod and take my phone out of my pocket. We exchange numbers, so we can find each other after we find our hotels, and search on.

I call Phil, who picks the phone up, after some desperate calls.

"Hello? Dan? Where are you?"

"Phil, I woke up naked, next to a random girl, and realised we got fucking married tonight. I have to get to the hotel, but I don't have any money. Could you pick me up?" I say in a casual voice.

"Woah, woah, what!?" he exclaims and asks for my location. I realise that we ended up near the club we were in yesterday. The girl, (y/n) is phoning her friend as well, but she isn't answering. We leave the room, and I wait for Phil - she's still calling. No answer.

Phil parks in front of the building, in the car we rented. I jump in, demanding to go, but he opens the car door and jumps out.

"Hey, you!" he says to (y/n).

"Me? Um, hi, I'm (y/n)."

"Nice to meet you, (y/n). You probably know that I'm Phil." she nods, looking confused.

"You need a ride?" I cover my eyes. Nooo, why does Phil have to be so nice? I don't want to drive this stupid girl around. It's her fault I'm in this mess.

"Well, I guess so. I have no money with me, and (f/n),who's here with me, won't answer her phone," she says and shyly smiles. She has a very nice smile, I must say, but that doesn't make her sin smaller.

"Okay, jump in!" Phil says with a sweet smile he always uses, and opens the door for her. During the ride, she keeps saying thank you, which pisses me off a lot. I don't even know why, but I remain silent, because I want no more trouble. I'm in a big, not big, huge mess already. I feel much better, when she's gone, but then I get attacked from Phil.

"Dan, why are you always such an ass?" he asks, looking annoyed. He only swears during Mario kart. He has to be pretty done.

"I'm not the creepy stalker one!" I complain.

"Oh really, then how did you become my friend?" he teases. I sigh and look away.

"I know you're pretty angry right now, but she seems like a nice young lady, and you were both very drunk. Besides, you don't know if the marriage was your idea. You said it yourself - you can't remember. You shouldn't blame her for everything." I know that he's right - he always is, but I don't want to admit it. I do what he says at the end anyway.

When we get home, I run into our flat and turn on my mac. I just want to get over it already, and continue with my normal procrastinating happy life.