A Match for Me

Chapter 15: "Two weeks"

"God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His Heart
Trust His Heart"
(Part of Song lyrics)

_________________________

                               Val...

After I visited Nelly's house I packed my things for me to go home to next day. Someone lent me his car to use for the travel.

While I was packing my thoughts went back to our first kiss. It was not in my plan but seeing her beautifully standing so close to me with only the bar door separating us urged me to kiss her. Her pink thin lips, her compelling green eyes, and looking at her seem very vulnerable at the moment, the desire of gathering her in my arms and kiss her senselessly engulfed me. Though I only gave her a quick kiss but in a second there I was tempted to make the kiss longer but deep inside I knows it was not the time yet. And  I was even surprised by myself, being vocal regarding my feelings was new for me but it felt good, it feel liberating. She seems so shocked hearing those words I saw her face turn red and her mouth fell open, for me only her eyelashes did the move. But isn't it so obvious that I love her very much? Maybe I don't say it much or that was the only time but I'm sure she knew it. Honestly, her reaction has brought me to ponder, do I need to say it so often? I know women are far different from us men in this area. For us, we opted to show it in action but to them, they want both. Actions and words. I do agree with what Sams said.
Nelly is my first love, I had a so-called "fling" before when I was in high school that was when I was still an unbeliever and very young. And that counted as nothing. So I am very inexperienced in this area. But I know along the way God is my help how to love and cherish her the way she deserves and on the right path according to His will.

*****
The next day.....

I was in my parent's house already and far from Nelly. As I stayed there with my parents, what happened to me and Nelly on my last visit kept coming back to my mind. I got scared of my life in the Lord and I started to ask myself, Is my relationship with her will not hinder me in the Lord? Is she will not hinder my life in God? This thought chilled me and pushed me to meditate more on God. I don't want to regret one day, I want to make things right and clear before I enter into a lifetime commitment.

"Bro, the car is ready" it was Joe, my brother-in-law, he is the one who was lending a car for me to travel. I was in the kitchen eating breakfast with mom.
"Thank you, bro,  but I will not be using that today and in the coming days"
"What do you mean? You are not going to West City today?" He asked
"No, I'm staying here for a while"
"Son, something happened? It was my mom asking me.
"Nothing is wrong mom" I answered to her
"But, how about Nelly? Did she know that you will not return today? She asked again.
"She didn't know, this is not my plan"
"You can send her a short message bro" Joe suggested to me
" I will not send her anything. Just leave it like that"
"Well, it's your call. Let me know if you need a car. Mom, see you around" Joe said and went.
"Son, do you have arguments with Nelly?" My mom sounded worried.
"We are okay mom, I just want to take a break"
"I don't understand you but it's your decision," she said and finished eating her breakfast.

I spent my days in the house of my parents helping them, sharing with them but also visiting the brothers around the cities. I went to school to share with young people like me there. For me, days went so fast but at night I keep wondering what Nelly is doing during these days. Even, sometimes I thought if she will still be there once I return. But I keep holding myself. I dedicated more than before to prayers and searching scriptures never letting doubts or any thoughts come my way and overall I can say it's very fruitful.