Well I texted Jeff and a few others I don't talk to anymore. Idk why but I got a weird feeling when I did my stomach was turning and everythin. But I texted them. It's weird texting people u haven't talked to in months. I don't think they'll answer me though. But ig if not it's whatever. I miss talking to people, nobody talks to me anymore and I don't start convos. It's a but weird. But I tried texting Jeff from his old account but 1 sent through and the other I think he deleted so he most likely made another or something so eh. I want him to actually see my message.. So I'm trying to find a way to text him, I might text a few people I think he might know idk though. I'm not big on stalking people's accounts or anything but I wanna find a way to text it to him successfully and idc if he reply just as long as he sees it I'll be fine I want him to see it because I can't move on from that unless he knows. I'm not easy on moving on, I always want to say how I feel before I move on. If I want to get over something I always have to say it to them. Idc if he goes off I will stand there and say he's right, just as long as I can tell it too him to were he sees it that's all that matters.
I've slowly been going out of my happy phase, but me and one of my friends texted yesterday. We wanna hang out but idk how we could, my dad hates driving long distance areas and the only way he'll drive to the town is if he goes and see his gf, but I can't stay the night at his house bc my dad thinks something will happen. He supports some of the LGBT and all but he doesn't fully believe when I say one of my guy friends are gay so he doesn't let me stay the night. The only friend I hang out with his my friends that got 5 brothers, I don't hangout with any other friends, yes ik I'm a lonely freak -_- but idc ik I am. I've decorated my room a bit so it's different now it's not fully done but when I get my own room it's gonna be a horror/anime theme. I gotta have my puzzles lmfao so it'll have a mix of puzzles there too. My dad got me on birth control while I'm fine with and all but I hate it at the same time. I've been more bitchy sometimes and I get upset easily sometimes bc of it which never happens. My anger had been worse but only in my head. I've been wanting to run away and all but I never have yet bc idk where I would run off to. All my friends live like an hour or more away. But imma go do school since I have a zoom meeting at 2. I'm learning Spanish again too ^^ I'm excited about that bc I love Spanish I wanna learn a lot more of that but I haven't done it in 2 years but I'll learn more.
