back to you//[a.k.]

★ 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 ★

trigger warning: this chapter does mention suicide and mentions a character's attempt. if the subject upsets you, you may want to skip this chapter or read with caution.

two weeks later

after awsten and i announced our relationship to the public, everything seemed to fall in place.

most of his fans supported us, there being only a few haters. the haters didn't bother me though, i knew they would be there whether we liked it or not. it felt nice to finally be public with awsten, we finally got to post each other affectionately and when we did so we constantly had people cheering us on.

one day, i was sitting on my couch petting belle while i scrolled on tiktok. my phone started ringing from an unknown number, but it was local. i decided to answer it because it could be awsten or someone having an emergency and using someone else's phone.

"hello?" i answered the unknown number. there was a two second pause before the person spoke.

"y/n? it's joey, josh's friend." the voice greeted me. confused, i sat up. why on earth was joey calling me?

"hi, joey. what's up?" i greeted joey, my voice definitely showing my confusion. i heard him take a deep breath before he spoke.

"i- uh- i'm sorry for reaching out with you and josh being broken up so it's probably weird but uhm...josh is in the hospital. he tried to commit suicide last night but thank fucking god he survived. i only called you because he won't stop asking for you and i don't know what to do. i wouldn't do this if i weren't desperate but he literally won't talk to anybody else."

my eyes widened as i took in the information. my heart grew sad and i nodded. josh tried to kill himself and he needed me.

"oh my god...what hospital? i'll be there immediately."

joey gave me the hospital address and i ran to my door and slid my shoes on, grabbing my keys. i knew i probably looked like crap. i was wearing a t-shirt and sweats, my hair was probably a mess, and i was still wearing my makeup from the night before when i went on my three month anniversary date with awsten.

as i drove to the hospital, a million thoughts went through my head. why would josh try to kill himself? he must have stopped taking his meds but...why? why did he want me of all people to come see him? i was his ex girlfriend after all. wouldn't he want his friends that were already there? it didn't make sense, but he needed me and i wasn't just going to ignore him.

when i got to the hospital, i rushed up to the front desk, urgently.

"i need to see joshua katz, please." i told the receptionist.

"are you a relative? it's family only." she replied. i thought for a split second and said the first thing that came to mind.

"i'm his girlfriend. please, i need to see him." i pleaded. she sighed and typed what i assumed was his name into the computer.

"room 301. second floor on the left."

i thanked her and quickly went to the elevator and tapped the number two. thirty seconds later, the door opened again and i walked out.

i frantically walked down the hall as i looked at the numbers on the doors. 280, 285, 290, 295, 300...

room 301. the door was open and josh was laying on the hospital bed, staring at the wall. he seemed lifeless. i almost felt like if i went in there, i'd break down on the spot. but, it wasn't my time to cry.

"josh..." i walked into the room. when he heard my voice, he looked over to me, confused.

"what are- what are you doing here, y/n?" he asked me. i frowned.