him.

~|Chapter 2|~

|Y/n|

~*MEMORY*~

"y/n tell me what happened?"

"h/n, I was raped."

"By whom?" He asked.

"My stepfather"

In that moment I felt like nothing mattered. Because I really really did trust h/n. We talked about it for another hour or so then after that we both went home.

I loved 2020 for me and h/n talked a lot and hanged out a lot. I remember this one night I was crying so hard and I got a message from him.

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TW: mentions of blood, death threat⚠️
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{h/n<3} <- (Snapchat name)

{h/n<3} y/n you okay?

{me} mhm..

{h/n<3} tell me what's wrong

{me} someone told me that I should kill myself. And cut my writs until they bleed so much that I lose a lot of blood and die.

{h/n<3} Y/N WHO TF TOLD YOU TO KILL YOURSELF!?!! THEM SAYING THAT IS LIKE LOSING A THOUSAND GOOD MEMORIES WITH YOU!

{me} h/n.. I really don't know my body hurts. I've been crying so much.

{h/n<3} y/n..
(seen by you 01:08am)

{h/n<3} answer y/n

<h/n<3 called you at 1:10am>
(6 missed calls from h/n<3)

{h/n<3} y/n please answer

{me} I'm fine h/n I'm just gonna go to sleep
{me} goodnight h/n

{h/n<3} night y/n

•~<|**|>~•
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Sometimes I look back at it and think what the hell, anyways h/n walked out of my life and after that shit as in life got shit full. In 2021 my cousin Sasha and her brother Harry and her mum moved back to Finland which really upset me. I don't think she'll ever know how much I love her.

Cause when she moved back to Finland I don't think anyone understood what I felt. I love her with my whole heart. I couldn't start 8th grade without her it just felt wrong. Not hanging out with her hurt, the not annoying her everyday hurt. Sasha had my heart and she still does.

But she had to leave me when I needed her most.

I still had contact with her, but it wasn't the same. There was no one to go upstairs to anymore and too me that really sucked cause I lost the one person I could talk to and get advice from. I still wish I could see her. She means the world to me. I hate to see her sad or hurt. She was my best friend but also my sister. and I think it reached a point where I was at my lowest and I couldn't go ask her for a hug because she wasn't there. I miss everything about her. Her smile, laugh, humor and style. Her silly Roblox TikTok's the always cheering me up. I miss having her around.

Maybe I'm being dramatic ?

I think I wanted to have a new best friend that I was really close too like I was with h/n. As if that wasn't enough. I always saw his initials. Every-where I went or looked. During 2021 I think I went from guy best friend to another but no one was like h/n. No one has ever made me feel that safe.

———————
August 19th 2022
——————

wow, summer went by fast huh. I spent the last two weeks in England with my foster family. But somewhat I kept thinking about h/n because I have been worried about him for a while now. When I got back to school and starting in 9th grade I felt an instant plunge in my stomach.

We've made it to 9th grade. I made it to 9th grade. And yet Sasha wasn't with me. You don't know how much I hate my life. I think the first two weeks were ok but then it came to homework and I think that's were I really gave up I've had no motivation to do it. However I was always outside, then this one night really changed my life I guess.

—————
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|H/n|

It's not my fault, or I think not. The friendship that I had with her, with y/n, it was the best.
I've known her since 2018 and we started hanging out in 2020. I started 8th grade while she was in seventh grade. Every time we would hang out my friends including enzo would bully me cause I was with her. Well did I care about them bulling me just because I was with her? no.

I don't know if she remembers but I certainly do.
It was the 18th of July 2020.

~*MEMORY*~

//July 18th 2020// •time: 12:03pm•

She had asked me to hangout with her today. I grabbed my phone and sent texted her on Snapchat.

{me} uhm y/n we were going out today right?

{y/n<33} yeah when?

{me} now?

{y/n<33} shit h/n I'm sorry I forgot, give me 15 mins I have to wait until my dad leaves.

{me} hm well I'm at the park y/n

{y/n<33} right dad just left I'm gonna get ready
(opened 12:17pm)

————
She came, she actually came.
————

"Hey h/n" she said

she's so beautiful her brunette hair, her freckles started from the left side of her cheek bone and over her nose to the right cheek bone. She looks like a dream, the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

I could stare in those brown eyes of hers for days.

"hey y/n" I replied.

" I'm sorry for making you wait.." she began

"y/n it's fine" I told her.

we talked a lot, I mean in general we just talked about her sa and about what we were planning to do for the rest of summer.

"It's a bit cold here h/n don't you agree?" y/n asked.

I turned and my eyes met her brown eyes.

I remember.

"here y/n you can have my jacket"

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