him.

|Chapter 25|

|Late October and early November 2023|

|Y/N|

It's finally the last year of school.

I leave next year.

I'm finally saying goodbye.

I'm physically better I'm proud of where I'm at now. I am happier now. I've sat and watched those girls who talked shit. I watched them get their karma.

That's what I'll forever stick by "Karma is a bitch, what goes around comes aorund". I find it hilarious because there's actually two girls that I know, they are talking shit about each other and they don't know it yet.

One thing I can't wrap my mind around is the fact that I actually never gotten bad karma. I've done a lot of things in my life, bad things too. Yet It feels like I haven't gotten my karma. It's just the last few weeks have been amazing, I'm happier than ever. Sometimes I do wonder what if I never met h/n.

I'm walking home when all of a sudden I bump into him.

H/n.

After 4 months of no contact, and four months of trying to focus on myself I was ready to talk to him.

"H/n." I say.

"Y/n?" he responds.

"why did you do those things h/n? why did you lie? why did you hurt me h/n?" I said with my voice starting to break.

"Y/n, I hope you do forgive me. I did it out of love, I've always loved you y/n. I didn't mean to lie but at the time it was because I wanted to spend more time with you. Now I realise that I was a jerk because of it." He says.

I look at h/n and thinking how did I ever love him.

I look at him like a lost puppy who wants their mum. The thing is I was stupid to fall in love after h/n, I was stupid to let myself fall in love with him twice.

"you hurt me H/n, and my mind can't even try to figure out why. I was mature while you acted like a dick" I answer.

silence fills the air..

"I am truly sorry y/n, but you were like a drug I needed you when I felt lonely. Then once I had you it was all go-"

I cut him off.

"I really loved you h/n, watching you leave was the hardest thing to do when I know how much I cried all of those nights thinking it was all my fault. I always asked myself 'what did i do?' 'was it my fault?' I really did love you h/n, but you chose to go out of the way and lie. I cared about you, there were times I was even worrying about what was going on with you."

"But those nights when i selfharmed, bawled my eyes out, begged for you to come back. You always came back not because you wanted me, but because you only wanted me when you were lonely. That one day I stopped talking to you, that day I stopped asking myself how and why it happened the way that it did. I stopped calling, texting, I stopped caring. Yet I still managed to walk away with a smile each time you hurt. " I say.

Now there was nothing to do. The world went silent, all of these years that I've known h/n I finally had the courage to tell him how I felt.

"y/n, I didn't know.." He says.

"Of course you didn't. You never did or we'll ever since you're accident/attempt you've been a dick. You only think about yourself h/n and I'm glad you're not in my life anymore." I said before walking off.