Chapter Eight (3):

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Lisa gently kissed Jennie's forehead when they both gained control of their breathing. How she loved this woman. She was surprised by that realization.


On the other hand, she doesn't know how it happened that despite the fences she surrounded herself with, she fell in love with the woman again. Or maybe, she had never stopped loving her. She doesn't know how to handle her feelings. She remembered the first time she felt this way for Jennie. She left her devastated and hurt beyond anything she imagined.


She had a different plan. She was going to hate her for the rest of her life. And yet there she was. She shouldn't have touched her. She is angry because she allowed herself to be vulnerable to the woman again.


She felt the touch of the woman's hand on her arm. And she got even more angry because that simple act made her want her again. She moved her hand away and turned away from her. She couldn't possibly allow herself to love her again. She couldn't afford to, not now. She knows, it won't be long because Jennie will leave her again.


Jennie's hand stopped what it was doing. Maybe nothing hurts more than the feeling of rejection right after making love. Not after the most intimate act there could possibly be. Even she was shocked by the intensity of that pain. A sob escaped her mouth.


Lisa heard that. She was even more angry with herself for her crying. She actually felt like her heart was going to burst. She wants to pass that anger on to others.


"What is it this time, Jennie?" She asked. "What are you crying about? You have been offering this, haven't you? What else do you want from me?"


Deep in her heart, Jennie knew that was where it ended. She has done everything to get noticed by the woman she loves. She forgot professionalism. She bet what she had to bet and she lost. There is nothing to lose if she says what she feels now.


"I just want you to love me. That's what I wanted before. That's what I still want now." She sobbed softly. "I don't want retail. I wanted all of your love. But you already know that. Do you remember what I wrote to you? I waited, Lisa, hoping you would come to me and say you could give me that in your own terms. You seemed ready to give me everything including your name. Everything except all your love. I waited and waited, Lisa."


Lisa faced her. She didn't understand something in what she said. "What? Jennie, what in God's name are you talking about?"


She didn't understand that it was true confusion that prompted that question. She assumed it was another one of the woman's sarcastic comments. She only had a little pride left. That's the only thing she can get strength from.


She got up from from bed with the blanket to cover her body and ran out of the room.


"Jennie, wait!"


She heard Lisa's call but she ignored it. Blinded with tears, she continued towards the elevator. It's a good thing no one is in the elevator or else they might think she was going crazy. She pressed the number of the basement where the car was parked. She ignored the carpark guard's questioning look at her appearance as she opened the car window to hand over the free parking stub.


If only she wasn't crying, she would probably be laughing at herself. Look at her. A smart top-level executive of one of the largest hotel chains in the world, yet, there she was like a madwoman. She doesn't know where to go while driving. To top it all, she was wearing nothing but a hotel blanket. One goddamned blanket where she just had sex with the only woman she had ever truly loved.


She found herself outside Rosé's house. She couldn't come down. What would people say at her friend's house if she came out wrapped in a blanket? Her cell phone is in the hotel room. Why is it that in the most devastating moments of her life she always doesn't have her cellphone with her?


She saw the gate open and rolled down the car window to call out to whoever was opening it. A rather familiar figure appeared there. He stepped closer to her car, the man also looked to see who was riding in it.


"Jennie? Is that you?"


It took a moment before it registered with her who the man was.


"Jungkook?" Her voice was hoarse when she spoke. Something in her voice prompted the man to approach her parked car. Up close, he saw her condition.


"Jennie, what happened?" He didn't wait for her to answer his question. He turned to the passenger side of the car and hop in. "Tell me what's wrong?" There was concern in his voice.


She looked at the man, her eyes swimming with tears. "Jungkook, I d-don't know where to go." She said in between sobs racked with pain. She felt like she was going to die of pain. She felt like she was nothing but a whole mass of pain.


Jungkook felt sorry for her appearance. She looks like a lost child. He hugged her.


"Shh.." He said. "Come on, it couldn't be that bad. You want us to go to my house because Rosé isn't here. I make very good coffee. Then you can tell me everything. I'll drive for you. I just can leave my car here, I'll just come back."


He moved her to the passenger seat and drove the car to her pad. Once there, he lends her something to wear. Fortunately, Rosé leaves clothes at his house for the occasions when she sleeps there.


He handed a freshly brewed coffee to the woman who seemed to have stopped crying but was just stunned while sitting on the sofa.


"Why does she hate me so much?" She said in a whisper. Tears start to fall down her cheeks again.


The man stood beside her, putting his arms around her trembling shoulders, offering silent comfort.


"Why can't she forgive me when I already explained to her in my letter why I left? Why can't she forgive me when it was also that simple for her to just let me go?" She sank into the chest of the man who once saved her life. "I wish.. I wish I didn't love her this much."


Jungkook remembered something about the situation while letting the woman cry and talk. When he was young, she must have been five or six, she enjoyed swimming and ended up in the deeper part of the pool. He was watching her and his cousin Rosé, so he figured out what was going on earlier than why she wasn't lifting in the water than the lifeguard. She was under water when he got her. He pulled her out of the pool and administered artificial resuscitation. When she threw up all the water that entered her body, she hugged him and cried. It was at that time that he decided that he wanted to save lives so he became a doctor.


"Tell me what happened." He finally said. For the second time in both their lives, she cried in his arms again.


Jennie narrated everything that happened until she fell asleep on his chest because she was so tired from crying.


He caressed the woman's hair gently. He looked far away while thinking deeply.

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