Back to You

The Last Act

6 months later

Teja's POV:

With one final pull the suitcase finally closes. I let out a breath and look around the room to make sure I didn't miss anything. I pull my suitcase off the bed and go to grab my purse. I hear the door open behind me and a voice calls out "Teju you ready?"

"Ya Pra I have everything." I turn to face him and wrap my arms around him. With one final squeeze we both let go. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"So will I. You know you can stay longer if you want."

"No it's time and besides I got what I came here looking for."

My phone beeps and I look down to see the notification. "My uber is here. I should get going."

"I told you I'd drop you off."

I roll my eyes and start wheeling my suitcase toward the door. "You'd be late to work." I open the door and start walking toward the car. After confirming it's the right car, I catch the driver's eye and point toward the trunk. The driver pops it open and my brother appears behind me to lift the suitcase into the car. Once he shuts the trunk, he turns toward me and I hug him again. Once I let him go, he smiles and says "I know I don't say this enough but I am so proud of you."

"Stop you'll make me cry."

"No really seeing the person you've become I'm just-"

I stop him before I actually start crying. "I know. I know. Thank you for always supporting me."

"I'm always there for you." As he says that, I open the door of the car and slide in. He waves and says "Text me when you're about to board."

"I will. Come visit soon!" I close the door and with one final wave the car starts and I'm saying goodbye to another place.

Five months ago I left India feeling burnt out and lost. Not knowing what I wanted anymore and I was tired of pretending I'm okay. Now I'm leaving here with a version of myself that I've always aspired to. One who is proud of herself, one who is confident in herself, one who knows she is strong. The journey to feeling like this wasn't easy and it took a lot of time but this person figured out how to pick herself back up and glue the pieces of herself together.

The first month after the breakup, I won't lie, was terrible. I buried myself into my work to block out everything I was feeling because I knew stopping meant having to face everything and the thought of that was frightening. I would sleep for barely five hours a day leaving myself no time to think about anything until one day our shoot ended early and for the first time in a month I didn't have anything to do. No one was home, my friends were busy and there was no new content to film. I came home to my empty house and the sheer loneliness made me breakdown and let out everything I was suppressing.

When I finally calmed down I realized that all my life I have kept myself so busy going from project to project that I never stopped to think about what I want for myself. I always told everyone I liked to keep myself busy but that was also because when you're busy you can avoid everything else. So I decided it's finally time to figure out who I am and face everything I had been running away from. I wrapped up the rest of the shoot in two weeks, it was a supporting role in a movie, and flew to my brother in the US.

Even though I was tempted to hide out there, I forced myself  out of my comfort zone. I started doing all the things I wish I had time for. I went traveling by myself, spent time practicing singing, started baking, took up running, read loads of books and finally went to therapy. The last one was the hardest but it's what helped me heal the most. I was able to understand my fears, my unreasonable expectations, and where my insecurities come from.