I am Poetry

Social Anxiety and Its Implications

they make it sound so easy
go up to them
say hi
give them a compliment
and then let life and love take its course

to some people
that may actually be
easy

but to me
that is social suicide
a death sentence for my soul
an accident going to happen
the short-circuiting of my mind

need i say more

that is why i dont
go up to them
say hi
give them a compliment
and then let life and love take its course

that is why
i cant even take the first step
unless im high on adrenaline
of course

i dont have
the courage
the self-esteem
the fortitude
to survive a rejection

dont get me wrong
i dream of finding my one
but as of now
i am one

im scared
im scared of not being
im scared of not being enough
im scared of not being enough by being me

as a human
a nonbinary pansexual recently out
whos never been kissed
i do wonder

why
am i still alone
must my one wait so long to find me
cant i find my one
do i struggle with being alone

and let me just say
Google is not
a friend
or a therapist

to tell someone they just
havent found their one yet
is like
telling someone depressed
they just havent found what makes them happy

sure im not alone
in being alone
but others arent alone
in being dead either

so
here i am
and let me introduce you to my parasite:
Social Anxiety

Author's Note:
Dear Beloved Reader,
Thank you dearly for reading this. This is my coming out to you all. I've been nonbinary and pansexual technically my whole life, but only recently have I accepted myself. My friends have been extremely supportive and I can't thank them enough for it. This poem is also about the uncertainty that comes with coming out. I know society's opinions don't matter, but I still find myself caring so it's a process to build my self-love to a point where it outweighs my care for other's opinions. I hope that even if you can't relate to that, then you at least relate to good ol' Social Anxiety, my old friend. Also, don't ever be afraid to talk about your issues to anyone, including your dear and loving Wattpad readers. Personally, that's why sharing stories exists. I would like to conclude this with a couple quotes I heard that I hold dear to my heart:
You do not burden others with your issues. Those who love you wish to share the burden to help you.
-Not Sure Who Said This

A burden shared is a burden halved, but a joy shared is a joy doubled.
-T.A. Webb

♡Now FallForOneForFall (FFOFF/FOO)

P.S. Haesel has been my preferred name for quite a while. I admitted that before anything else, so that's why I'm not changing that.