Obsession

Secret: Chapter 11

It was in the fourth grade when Gabriel had first realized his preferences differed from the other boys his age. While some boys had admitted to liking a girl in their class, other boys had shown favour to the outdoors and had little time to be bothered with the prettiest girl in class. Gabriel, at age nine, was a little bit of both – showing favour to the outdoors and being an avid soccer player even then, while developing feelings that could only be described as romantic. The only difference was that those feelings hadn't come into being for a girl.

It had been for the handsomest boy in his fourth-grade class who had also happened to be a friend of Gabriel's and one of the coolest boys in his elementary school. He was a very good-looking boy, and he was easily, one of the most sociable people in his elementary school so he made friends easily. All the girls had a crush on that boy, and Gabriel, despite being a boy himself, was no different from those girls. He, however, had a privilege those girls didn't.

They were friends, therefore, that gave Gabriel the chance to talk to him whenever he wanted. Gabriel had never acted upon his feelings because romantic things were not his number one priority at age nine. It was simply, two things. Making sure he did well in his school work, and playing soccer; the latter, being the number one priority. He had no true understanding of what his feelings had meant and had simply decided he admired his friend a little more than was necessary. It would explain his jealousy whenever his friend's attention was averted elsewhere, or his friend, at age ten, had started to show interest in girls.

As Gabriel got older, he finally understood what those feelings were, and by age eleven, he was sure what he had felt had been a crush. But still, he hadn't acted on it. His friend was interested in girls, and they had too good a friendship to throw away over something like that. But more than that, romantic feelings were still not at the top of his priority list. At age eleven, soccer had become the most important thing in his life.

When he and his father had moved to Shaw following the grotesque and ill-fated incident, the first shift in how serious those feelings were happened upon meeting the Stroup family. Soccer was just as important as it had been before leaving his hometown, but those romantic feelings – feelings of attraction – had been magnified, and more so, had its difference. In a religious town like Shaw, Gabriel had quickly sensed that such a thing might be taboo, and upon confessing his troubles to his father, Jeremiah was quick to advise his son to wait until he could leave Shaw.

Jeremiah was supportive. He was disappointed at first that he may never have a daughter-in-law, but at the end of the day, it was what made Gabriel happy that mattered most. He would rather have his son live his happiest life rather than grow old knowing he was the cause for his son's resentment. He would rather Gabriel's happiness instead of leading a bitter life as an old man when his son no longer came around.

Gabriel had heeded his father's advice, but he also opened a discussion on if it were to change. This had come in light of his newfound feelings for Julian Stroup at the age of fourteen. He had asked his father what he should do if he found someone he wanted to be with and he couldn't wait until he left Shaw.

His father's words had been simply, "Then, you best prepare for the consequences."

There had been no discouragement or insult. His words simply meant that there would be consequences of a same-sex relationship in a town like Shaw, and if Gabriel truly wanted to make that relationship work, he'd have to fight for it.

Those words had come back to Gabriel, and his mind had jumped ahead as he thought about the 'almost kiss' between himself and Julian Stroup. He thought about the possible backlash if they decided to move things along and they became a couple. It would no doubt – possibly – test the strength of their relationship.