Written In The Stars: Book Two

CHAPTER FOUR: ALWAYS THERE

Elijah dried his hair as sweatpants hung loosely off his hips. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he'd showered. It could have been yesterday, it could have been last Friday. In Elijah's defense, he also couldn't fully recall the conversation he'd had with Jay the night before.

What he remembered was his conversation with Mitch prior to his shower, much of the words on repeat as the steam consumed him.

"You're still here," Elijah muttered out when he noticed Mitch in his living room with a large trash bag.

Mitch barely glanced up, continuing to chip away at the madness Elijah had created. "While you were in the shower, I figured out that are some things I can do."

"Like clean my apartment?" Elijah guessed, dropping himself into a surviving chair.

"Like clean your apartment," Mitch confirmed. "I'd prefer to get you clean, but I know you'd fight me on it, and I'd lose. So I'm starting with things I can manage."

Elijah let out a laugh. "I'm squeaky clean right now."

Mitch lift his head to shoot him a glare, but his eyes focused on the cut on his arm, then moved upward to his North Star tattoo, remaining there for a beat before returning to the task at hand. "The bag of white powder that was on your end table says differently. Not to mention the amount of booze bottles everywhere."

"You didn't." Elijah's eyes darted over to the table next to the couch, the only table to survive his wrath. Nothing. "Mother fucker."

The only thing Elijah used it for was to knock out his hangover. The only thing that would get him back to work was if his bank account ran dry. It kept his heart beating when all it wanted to do was stop. It could also assist with stopping it if he snorted enough of it.

"You know what that shit does?" Mitch asked rhetorically. "I looked it up. Makes you damn restless, hostile. It'll make you violent, and you sure as hell don't need any more of that in your life."

Elijah dropped his head to his chest and shook it, taking a deep breath afterwards. For someone who just admitted that he'd lose in a fight against him, Mitch was sure as hell causing one. Unfortunately, he loved the guy. Once he laid a hand on Mitch out of anger, Elijah knew he was truly lost for good. "I'll just get more."

Whether Elijah spoke them to himself or to Mitch was a mystery, but Mitch replied all the same. "I'd get better at hiding it then, because I'm going to keep on showing up here now that I've found another thing I can do."

"Besides dumping my stash?" It was a sentence Elijah never imagined would leave his mouth. But he wasn't addicted. Truth was, he'd only used it twice so far. Some guys he was partying with at a bar a week prior, when he looked like he was about to pass out, offered it. After that, it was surprisingly easy to track down.

Mitch stood upright from his slouched position to look him dead in the eye. "Eventually you're going to hit rock bottom and admit you need help. When that day comes, I'll do whatever it takes to get you that help. Trust me, if I could force it on you right now, I would. But short of getting your ass arrested, there's not much I can do. The only thing I can do until that time comes is to come here, take care of you in any way you'll let me, and remind you of the man you are inside.

"The boy who took care of my little girl like a fierce protector, a man who read her bedtime stories and sang lullabies, even though he hated to sing. A boy who had so much love in his heart for my baby girl that it killed him to walk away from her. A boy who snuck over to share holidays with us, who helped my wife cook, and who'd listen intently about my boring ass day.

"I'm also going to remind you of the man who struck out on his own to survive, who kept my daughter close to his heart no matter the distance or time, and who came back into our lives only to fall hopelessly in love with her.

"But that's the thing, Elijah. You've lost hope. You're doing everything it takes to numb the pain of this breakup, when really you're doing everything that'll tear her apart. So I'm going to keep showing up here to remind you who you are so you don't turn into a man she wouldn't even recognize. Our decisions shift the path of our lives, but circumstance is only final when your clock runs out. Your clock hasn't run out yet, and until it does, I'm not giving up on you. You're better than this."

Elijah thought back to the words he spoke in his bedroom. "What if I'm not better than this?" He asked. "What if I only tried to be better for her, and now that I don't have her, there's no point in trying anymore?"

"You didn't have her before," Mitch reminded him, albeit a bit harshly. "You two went nearly twelve years without seeing each other, but you still fought off the demons. The only difference now is you let those demons get the best of you, and you lost her.

"I don't know what the hell went on after the two of you left the restaurant that night. I read the letter, but-"

Elijah cut him off. "You read the letter? That shit was personal."

Mitch let out a lengthy sigh. "As one of my children, you are entitled to a certain amount of privacy, but if something happens, you aren't guaranteed that. Plus, you gave the letter to Maddie, which means it was no longer yours. She willingly showed it to me after she couldn't even bring herself to say the reason out loud.

"I don't know what your reasons are for not wanting a family of your own. If you truly have no interest in being a father, that's your right, and everyone is entitled to that right. But if you fear what kind of father you'd become, that's some bullshit that will only come true if you allow it. The man who held my daughter in his sleep would have made a better father than me. When you walked out of that hotel room, leaving my daughter alone, you were someone different. Someone scared.

"Before you knew I was in your apartment, you were muttering about fate. Let me be very clear. You were fated to be our family. We could never conceive again after Maddie, but fate still gave us a son. And I truly believe you were meant to love Maddie. The only problem was is that you can't truly love her until you figure out a way to love yourself.

"So that's what I'm doing here. That's why I'm going to keep doing here. I don't know if you screwed the pooch with my daughter permanently, but I won't let you screw up the rest of your life like this. What you weren't fated for was becoming like your father. If that's where you end up, that'll be all on you being the one to make it happen, not some Devine plan. And while I might still love you, even then, that doesn't mean I won't be incredibly disappointed.