Written In The Stars: Book Two

CHAPTER NINETEEN: CONFRONTING DEMONS

It was nearing one in the morning when Elijah's phone dinged beside him. He knew who it was before so much as looking, and finished his sentence on the assignment, saved the document, and closed his laptop before picking up his phone.

Madeline: I have to use the bathroom, and I'm guessing you're the only one who's awake right now. Not sure if that's something I can ask for your help with or not.

Although Elijah scrunched his nose a bit, a smile still tugged at a corner of his mouth. Rather than reply to the text, he rolled himself out of his bed and made his way up the first set of stairs, then the second, taking the turn into her bedroom.

"Remind me to wear dresses and nightgowns after this," Madeline said, her room lit up by a single lamp on her bedside table. "And remind me to actually get some nightgowns."

Elijah let out an airy laugh and did his best to shimmy Madeline to the edge of the bed. "I'll get some for you later today."

"The hell you will," she shot back at him. "My mom can handle it."

He set her down on the toilet, and worked at tugging Madeline's shorts down, maintaining eye contact. "I'll also install some grab bars in here, and see if I can track down one of those raised bathroom seats."

Madeline shook her head at him, the slightest blush taking over her face. "Don't you have a job you have to go to?"

"I took the week off," Elijah told her, "and I'm thinking that should be extended indefinitely. I know I said I'd stay out of the way while you recover, and let your mom handle this, but you and I both know that things like this aren't something she can help you with. Mary won't be able to carry you in and out of the restroom, Madeline, and your dad has to go back to work next week. Like it or not, you need me, and I need to help you."

Elijah stood from his knelt position on the bathroom floor. "I'll be right outside. Let me know when you're done."

It didn't take her long, and within two minutes, Elijah was holding Madeline up so she could wash her hands and brush her teeth at the sink. Every now and again he'd notice her throwing glances at him in the mirror, getting this dazed look in her eyes, then go right back to the task at hand like no moment had ever taken place.

Once he had Madeline back in the bed, he draped the covers and blanket over her, noticing she was refusing to meet his eyes. A blush crept up onto her cheeks. "What?"

Madeline shook her head and blew a curl away from her face. "You brought up how my mom won't be capable of helping me get in or out of the restroom."

"Yeah?"

"So that means you're going to be the one helping me bathe?"

Honestly, that part should have occurred to Elijah, but it hadn't. "I can get you one of those shower chair things. It won't be as relaxing as taking a bath, but I don't think I'd be able to lift you out of any other position, anyhow. If you're wearing something that can pull over your head, your mom can take care of the rest.

"Once your shoulder heals, this will all be easier to handle. Until then, you're stuck with me, I'm afraid."

Madeline let out a low groan and wiggled her way up the bed. "Which means when I take a shit, you'll be the one who has to come in and enjoy the smell."

Elijah laughed and rubbed at his overgrown stubble. Another thing he had put little thought into. But it would hardly put a damper on the romance side of things, seeing as there wasn't a romance side of things. Either way, Madeline needed help, and Elijah was determined to be the one to help her. Maybe as his redemption, or maybe just doing his amends. Or it could have been as simple as her not just being 'Madeline'. No matter what he called her, and what that name implied, she'd forever be his M&M.

"I'll manage."

There was a quiet sigh in the bedroom before Madeline looked over at her end table. "Did you feel up to watching a movie with me? It'll be awhile before I'll be able to fall asleep again."

With both her parents being here for the week, Elijah would have plenty of time to finish his assignments in the morning, and was completely drained by the stress of the last several days. That, and the basement still smelled of paint, despite all his supplies being put in storage days ago.

Elijah gave her a quick nod, then went over to the open side of the bed, laying his body down below the covers so as not to hold her bedding hostage from her. Within moments, Peaches was by his side, head butting his arm. "You want some fruit, or a yogurt, or something?"

"I'd take some fruit," Madeline said as the TV lit up.

He reached down, opening the mini fridge, and grabbed the bowl, along with a bottle of orange juice. Once he opened the bowl, he jabbed the fork into a strawberry and handed everything over to her.

"Can I ask you something?"

Elijah's eyes narrowed on her, noticing Madeline's slightly sheepish expression, and how her gaze fell to the blanket when she spoke the words. "You never need permission, M&M."

Madeline tucked her hair behind her ear, her eyes shifting around to different objects, then her cat, then her bowl of fruit. "That night in the hotel, was it just about the kid issue, or was there something more to it? I've always wondered, because it seemed so out of left field."

Elijah suspected this conversation was bound to happen, eventually. Maybe not so soon, as he expected there to be some awkwardness once she moved in, uncertain of where things stood between them. But at some point.

"If you'd asked me the next day, or the next week, I would have said 'yes'," Elijah told her before letting out a long breath, then continued. "Oddly, my moment of clarity about it all came during the time I was constantly drunk. You and I had something incredible, and I'm not talking about the romance aspect, I'm talking about the connection itself. It felt like it was piecing me back together, but that's the issue, Madeline.

"You can't rely on another person to piece you back together. That sort of thing has to be on you, and I was still dealing with a lot of shit mentally. On the outside, I was struggling, but happy. On the inside... I was a mess, M&M. You made me as happy as I could be, but I wasn't a happy person long term.

"I was dealing with too many mental health issues and when your dad mentioned not knocking you up until after graduation, that didn't make me just think about a future child. It made me think about the future itself. All I could see were my issues, and how they would affect you and our relationship.

"At the time, I chalked it up to just my fear of being a father, fear of passing on tainted DNA, but it wasn't just that. It was my fear that I'd always be in too dark a place, and I didn't want you stuck in that place with me. When I was drunk, that's when I saw it. That absolute low that was inevitable and realized I was probably trying to save you from the fall I was bound to have.

"It took a better therapist and the right doses of the right meds to help me get out of that darkness. Pills aren't magic, but they allowed me enough clarity to see I wasn't the sins of the past, or the trials of my childhood. Time and effort let me understand that the person I used to be will always be there, because it all shaped who I became, but none of it defines me.

"It just wasn't something I could see back then, because so much of the pain was still too fresh, and felt like it still had this hold on me, like with what happened outside my dad's house, or what I was prepared to do the day of your graduation. The guy that broke your heart was someone who had no place being in a relationship. I needed time to fix myself and needed to hit rock bottom before I realized that."