Hi guys! This is not a chapter, it's about a serious topic in my life. It talks about the hardships in my life, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, cyberbullying, etc. This may include uncomfortable topics. If you are triggered by the following please leave.
I had been used once when I was a child, it's like a cycle. One time a boy I crushed on since elementary I would sometimes hand him my school lunch and hang out with him at my cousin's table. I would always admire him during elementary. But things turned to a downfall when he started insulting me and bringing threats to me.
More had happened, and I would be left out or bullied.
Whenever I try communicating with people they would just annoy me. I would have thoughts about self-harming myself. I would have a lot of thoughts of negative stuff. I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago and I couldn't heal myself from the pain I experienced. I always wore long sleeves to cover the insecurities I had.
I am afraid to come out to my parents as being pansexual. The reason is that my family is homophobic. Social anxiety is hard for me, I would stutter when I talk to others, and it would be tough for me. I don't wear revealing clothes, I always know there will be older men looking at me. One time I wore something revealing in public, and an older man stared at my body.
My mom compares me with one of my cousins, her friend's daughters, and everything. I am tired of it. Sometimes I wished to have a normal life, but life is just sometimes cruel in the outside world. There is no one to comfort me but my friends, online people I met here on Wattpad, and you guys.
y had been happier here on Wattpad, it help me inspire the writing passion I have. Thank you guys for always being here reading my stories I love you. <3
And thank you for hearing out my vents.
