When All is Lost

Chapter 20

The body can only go so fast before a walk turns into a jog or a run. I was testing that limit for over an hour. My pace was unforgiving towards my aching, stiff muscles. Carlos and Paula had offered for me to take a rest at the church, but there was no way I could.

Not while Ian and Ray are still out there.

I had to believe that they were okay and that they had made it to the actual church Ian had mentioned, but that didn't mean that they'd have the same belief about me. For all I knew, they could have already assumed I was dead and moved on without me. The longer we were separated, the more that situation could turn from a possibility to a probability.

By the time we'd reached the next nearest possible church, it was in the afternoon and I was struggling immensely. The energy crash I had after the morning's adrenaline high had been brutal. It also didn't help that I'd been awake for more than forty hours after having already been extremely sleep-deprived.

My head throbbed so hard it felt like my brain was trying to bash its way out of my skull. I could feel it pulsing behind my eyes. It was near torture as my eyes already perpetually burned and my right eye had developed a tick. I couldn't even try to just focus on my steps because all of my muscles seemed to rebel against every step, cramping and aching with every movement. Nausea rolled up my digestive tract and I had to fight to keep down the small amount of water Paula had nearly forced me to take.

The worst, however, was the way my brain decided to deal with reality. I had a hard time describing it, but the world felt...

Weird.

It was like I was playing hopscotch with time. One moment I'd be admiring the way the sun brought out the red on a stop sign, and the next, I'd be a block away and thinking about snow angels. Nothing made sense and yet I had a hard time not getting deeply absorbed in singular thoughts – almost obsessively. Paula would ask me a question and rather than processing what she was saying, I kept focusing on her annunciation and how it sounded so pretty. She kept needing to repeat herself each time before her words clicked.

I wanted to get my brain back, but I was too overwhelmed by sensations. The world was too bright, the sounds were too loud, and had I been able to breathe through my stuffed-up nose, I was sure it would have smelled too. I was starting to feel exhausted from being exhausted.

"It's just through there."

I looked around, wondering if the tiny holes in a porous brick were ever able to catch solitary snowflakes.

"Kate?"

"Huh?" I tried to focus.

Moss grows on bricks, right?

"Kate."

Shit.

"Yes. Sorry, what did you say?"

I could hear Carlos sigh from behind me. "The first church. It's just through that alley – straight ahead."

Right. Church.

"Great."

Does ivy grow on bricks or up bricks?

"Kate," Paula spoke, reminding me how nice her voice sounded.

I wonder if she ever did voice acting.

She cleared her throat and I couldn't help but think how the sound was less pleasant on the ears. "If your friends aren't at this church, do want to just take a break? Maybe rest for a few hours?"

Church is kind of funny word.

"That might not be a bad idea," Carlos grumbled.

Chur-ch. Chuuuurch. Ch-ur-ch. Ch-u-rrr-ch. Church.