When All is Lost

Chapter 39

As soon as my lips touched his, it was like everything else disappeared. The danger, the cold, the pain, the anger – all of it became background noise. My kiss was little more than a peck but I found myself caught up in the warmth of his lips.

I wanted it to last. I wanted more, but my sanity returned.

Feeling a hot blush of embarrassment rising up my neck, I pulled back and let out a shaky breath. Unable to meet his eyes, I was about to release his collar when his arm slid around my waist. He pulled me back in.

Ian's lips met mine again, but his kiss was much more than a peck. I could barely even register what was happening, so I gave in to just feeling.

And it felt amazing.

He raised a hand to my chin, gently tilting it to get a better angle and our kiss deepened. As his soft lips brushed against mine, time lost all meaning. I wove my hands back up and around his neck, causing our bodies to move closer together.

A loud pop came from the burning house to our side, making us break apart. I hurriedly removed my hands. Ian didn't stop me as I took a step back, though he was slower to let go.

I crossed my arms and bit my lower lip, trying to ignore the fact that it was still tingling. Ian took a deep breath as I gathered enough courage to meet his eyes. His gaze was heated and full of confusion.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with any words to say to him. I had no explanation for what just happened. In only a few moments I had gone from obliterating one man to kissing another. As much as I didn't want to cheapen what had happened between us, I also wasn't sure how I was feeling about any of it.

"I, uh, I...um..." My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I had to clear my throat before trying again. "I need to find my gun?" My voice came out sounding pitchy, making my statement into a question.

The confusion disappeared from Ian's expression as he looked at me with a mix of amusement and exasperation. A smile blossomed on his face as he shook his head at me.

"I'll find it." He walked past me and headed towards the man I'd killed.

I found myself unable to look. I couldn't stomach it.

Weak. You're being weak.

Straightening my spine, I confronted what I had done. My stomach rolled at the sight of the man's mashed face. His jaw was hanging on by a thread on sinewy tissue. Bile began to rise in my throat and I had to turn away.

A hand touched the center of my back. "You okay?" Ian asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

I had overdone it, but the man deserved to die. He was going to kill me and everyone else if given the chance.

He had to die.

"Yeah," I said, forcing my voice to sound fine. I took a step away from Ian as I turned to face him. His eyebrows were raised about as high as they could go and I was pretty sure I was giving him emotional whiplash.

"About what just-"

"Oh! You found my gun," I exclaimed, effectively cutting him off. "Did you get the man's gun too? Check his pockets?"

Ian's eyes slightly narrowed at me. "I did. But you know that's not what I was about to say."

I flinched, wishing he would have let me off the hook. "We don't have time to talk about that right now. We need to get back to the others. There could be more people-"

"I know." The seriousness in Ian's tone cut me off. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but let me just say this. I don't know if what just happened meant anything to you, but it meant something to me."