When All is Lost

Chapter 35

Between my sniffles, I heard people coming. I knew I had to pull myself together. I didn't want them to see me as I was – utterly shattered.

It hadn't mattered that I had carried my doubts about Lewis. In the end, I still hadn't been prepared for his betrayal. It had not only rattled me but it shook the foundations of my trust in myself and those around me. I simply couldn't fathom how I had managed to misstep so badly.

I failed again.

I practically shoved myself away from Ian and hurriedly dried my tears with my sleeve. Refusing to look at him, I took calming breaths to calm my racing heart. By the time the others entered the room, I made my face expressionless.

I almost died...

"Keep Jamie out," I ordered as they began to file in to witness the scene. Misty turned heel likely to join Jamie. That left me with the shocked and horrified faces of Prisha, Ray, and Carlos.

"What happened?" Prisha gasped.

They all carried weapons. They had to have heard at least some of the commotion.

And they took their sweet time coming to help.

I took more calming breaths. My shock was wearing off as other feelings began to creep in.

"Lewis happened," Ian answered for me. His voice sounded... off. "He tried to kill Kate."

I didn't have the emotional energy to read into it.

"I had a feeling about him," Carlos said. After barely hearing his voice in a week, his speaking up in the aftermath felt almost mocking.

Everything was crystal clear in hindsight. That was how hindsight worked. What I'd been holding onto was hope. I'd believed that I could spare a life by winning a person over with food, shelter, and protection.

Never again.

"But, I mean..." Prisha cleared her voice. "Are you sure? About him trying to... you know?"

My eyes snapped to her. I could see her almost trying to physically backpedal under my glare.

She took a step back, crossing her arms. "Sorry." She took a deep breath. "I just can't understand why. Why would he do this?"

Ray made a noise in the back of his throat. "Because he's a piece of shit?"

I glanced over at Ian as he still sat across from me on the floor. He wasn't smiling. The hollow grin he would usually wear in these kinds of circumstances was gone.

The others began to quietly guess at Lewis's motives, forcing Ian to speak up to describe what he had witnessed. I blocked it out, letting my own thoughts take over until I eventually had to cut everyone off.

"Where did Lewis get the screwdriver?" I asked.

The room went silent.

I studied each of their faces as I asked again, "How did Lewis get his hands on a screwdriver?"

Prisha paled a little, pursing her lips. "I think I saw Jamie with one this afternoon."

A second wave of adrenaline washed through me. I could feel it pumping through my veins.

Did Lewis actually use the kid?

"You sure?" I asked, my words sounding clipped even to my own ears.

"I think so. It looked like the same one Lewis had later-" Prisha realized her mistake too late. She stood up a little straighter, pressing her lips tight together.