Tamias POV
Charlotte, NC
December 25th, 2018
7:00am
I lay in silence, staring off into the dark room. This has been my routine for the past two months. Nothing feels real anymore. I had a baby beat out of me. I'll never be the same. I hate life. I hate waking up. I hate looking at my son because the only person I'm reminded of is Demetrius. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby boy but Flashbacks from that night haunt me day in and day out. Knowing Meechie is still out there makes me nauseous, I can't even sleep at night. My life feels as though it's falling apart and no one understands. God, I need my parents now more than ever. Just a hug from them would heal me.
Shawnette has been my backbone throughout this ordeal. She never leaves my side and she treats my son as though he's her own. Truthfully speaking, my support system is rock solid. Janet and Kamya practically stays here. Jada and Naomi watches him while I'm at school. Nyah and Destiny stops by everyday just to give Shawn and i a break. And don't get me started on Yana and King...my brother has been the BEST uncle/ father figure for my baby and my bitch Yana took on the auntie roll quick, I adore them. Not to mention Janet's family. Mike, Rebbie, mama k and Jackie especially. I have so much to be grateful for...But I just want to feel normal again. I'm scarred for life.
"Merry Christmas baby" shawn says in my ear and I smile at sound of her raspy voice
"Morning, Shawny. Merry Christmas babe."
"How you feeling?" She asks, turning my body towards her.
"I'm ok. Ready to get my day started. You?"
"Same here miss lady. Are you coming with us to mama Kat house for dinner?" She asks and I give her blank stare. What kind of question is that shawnette? I may be depressed, but a bitch still be hungry. And Katherine my momma for real.
"Well duhhh."
"Stop that 'duhhh' shit. You sound like Nyah sarcastic ass." I laugh loudly at her remark. Her and Nyah bump heads like crazy. It's like they love making each other mad.
"You just don't like her."
"Nah, I like Nyah. That's my homie. She just talk in 'duh' if that makes sense. Everything she says sounds like she's saying 'duh bitch'." She explains and I laugh again. This is why I love Shawnette.
"You not lying. I'm about to get up and get Kamyle's clothes together for the day."
"Ok babygirl. I'm bout to get my stuff out now" I forgot to tell her to wear the Black and Red Nike Tech I pulled out. Lately I've been picking out Shawn's clothes like Kamya does Janet because those two and their fashion choices be killin me softly
"Don't pull out nothing. Your outfit for the day is sitting in the closet, first outfit on the right hanging up. The shoes are right below."
"Girl I can get my damn self dressed." I give her stern look and cock an eyebrow
"Don't play with me, Shawnette H. Heard. Put on that damn outfit. We are a unit." She laughs and shakes her head
"You got it. I don't want no smoke, lil mama"
I get from bed and head next door to Kamyle's nursery. Even though I hate his dad with my entire being, I love this boy. He's the only reason I haven't checked out of this world. I pick his sleeping self up and lay him on my chest
"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away"
