Janet's POV
February 23, 2019
Charlotte, NC
"Hey Jan." Terri says as we sit at our favorite brunch spot. It's been a while and we haven't actually talked about anything that has transpired over the past months. I miss my sis and we need to clear the air.
"Hey Terri. How've you been?"
"I've been ok. You?"
"I've been well, T. I really felt like we needed to talk about everything." I tell her and she half smiles.
"Same here. I don't know where to start" she admits and sighs. I take initiative and start by admitting my wrongdoing in this situation,
"Well, I'll start. I first want to say sorry for any emotional distress that this may have caused. It was never my intention to betray you or hurt you. When I found out I really wanted to tell you but I didn't know how," she stops me and looks at me with a blank expression
"Just curious, when did you find out?"
Do I answer this truthfully or try to sugar coat it? I think to myself
"Do you remember the day you had the get together at your house and I had to leave?"
"Janet," She says simply and looks down at the table, "how did you find out?"
"I saw her car pulling off from across the street." I tell her the truth and she puts her hand over her face, taking a deep breath.
"And you didn't tell me, Jan? You still found this little girl attractive even after finding out that she was sneak dickin' with your best friend's husband?"
I instantly grow offended but trying to remember the place of hurt she's coming from, I take my time with a respectful response
"Listen, this was before she and I started dating. I was trying to be an emotional support for her. You know her parents passed away back to back. I had a long talk and she vowed not to talk to him again. She hasn't since." Her eyes glass over
"Why couldn't you just tell me instead of acting clueless when I sent you a picture of the photo I found in his possession?"
Be honest with her Janet. I tell myself again
"I was with her that morning and I was at a lost in what my next moves should be. I ended up not talking to her again until the Fourth of July celebration."
"And on that day, you decided to pick her over me?" She asks and I'm speechless. I look into her eyes and see her tears falling effortlessly. The sight before me making my heart ache. To see my sister, my best friend since middle school back in Gary, the one I planned my future with, cry over decisions I've made is breaking me.
"You know I'd never hurt you intentionally, Terri. She was a breath of fresh air. Someone I knew that I needed."
"Loyalty, Jan. You know how I feel about loyalty. I beat up my blood cousin for you! I got jumped in fights for you. When I found out James was a crackhead, I told you and went to the hood to find him for you. I've never betrayed you or kept something from you"
"Terri, I don't-" she cuts me off with soft cries, and starts talking again
"Maybe I'm just not ready for this conversation yet. I'm trying so hard to see things from your perspective, sis. I really am. But I am hurting," she cries harder into her hands, "I am angry. And it makes me mad because I want to be happy for you. I want for us to be how we used to be so bad. But I need to grow first. I need to let the hurt go. I'm sorry for wasting your time Janet. I love you sis. Now just isn't a good time for me." She says and walks out of the restaurant. Not a piece of food was ordered, not even a water. This is not what I was expecting. I wanted to get together, see eye to eye, mend our friendship. But I guess for right now, ain't no rekindling shit.
