Say My Name [ Teacher-Student Romance -- Robert Downey Jr ]

Ch.43 - Nightmares Vrs Reality

Next update will be Friday or 30 COMMENTS = NEW CHAPTER

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Monday had been fine. Tuesday had been fine. Was Wednesday fine? No. No it certainly had not been fine. Looking back, this had been her just a couple dozen minutes ago.

A fist each buried into the sockets of her eyes as she tries to concentrate on her breathing. In and out. In and out. Smooth and relaxed. It's hiccuping and her minds a mucky mess, circles and circles like an endless loop. She's been off all day. A bad day. Every little thing has her on edge and it sucks and it's scary and her imagination is fucking running in every which direction. She feels scattered, like she's an egg that's been smashed on icy pavement. The tips of her fingers are blue from clenching her hands so hard, her legs numb from bending over, rocking back and fourth so long, and she can't move. Or breathe and she's stuck in the women's washroom hushly trying to get air sucked back into her lungs and get herself composed just enough to being neutral so she can find Robert. Robert who wasn't in his room or his office when she had first gone looking for him--not that it's his fault, it's just, she really is scared.

"Hey, come on. You okay?" The voice of a stranger she doesn't know persistently knocking at the locked door of the stall. A women who sounds concerned, but is easily growing tired that for the last ten minutes Charlotte has only sniffled in reply.

Brushing the hair from her face with sticky cheeks, purposefully making the air flow constrict through only her nose, trying desperately to calm herself.

Okay. Breathe. Breathe. Safe. Breathe. Molly's at school. She's here. Moms close (not that she'd care). Robert's here. Robert's here. Robert's here.

She's fine. She is. Her imagination is just getting the best of her, that's all. Again. She's on edge because she knows that at anytime Dayna could be dropping by and surprising her. And heck maybe it'll all be fine and her friend will be good to her. It'd be nice to see her but its not just that, it's everything Dayna brings with her. Like the whole Miami thing. The Brandon thing. Like a crack in a paper thin wall that soon rips in two.

Dayna doesn't even know where she lives though, and okay, Charlotte had mentioned once so briefly those months ago that she was attending MGU but could she really remember? Was she even really listening?

Another thing that had her creative brain day dreaming was why Dayna is coming at all. Why she plans on traveling across the country to see a friend she doesn't all that much care for. Or so she made clear last time they spoke. But she isn't coming. She's really not and Charlotte knows that thru and they but for some reason she just keeps asking questions. Like how the heck she would afford it. If she drove. And if she was alone. Not that Brandon and Dayna were close. Sure Dayna had been jealous and all, but she had never been the one Brandon hung out with those few times Charlotte and he did. Brandon barely even looked at Dayna. But he certainly looked at Charlotte. He certainly hurt Charlotte and she just hates him, and she's scared and hiding in the washrooms like a lost child fighting unshed tears. She needs to grow up and straighten up, get up, and get going. Take control over the impossibly creative images playing with her mind.

So yeah. Today's just been a really bad day. Or had been because here she is now, after all that panic, and she can finally (sorta) breathe. She had been fighting that episode the entire day, swallowing it down and letting it build. Now though she's got her bearings back and she's still a bit shy to try to come out of the cocoon she's balled up into, but she knows that it's only easier from here. That she's okay. That its time to come out, to gather herself. Staying where she was for an extra fifteen minutes to just make sure and feeling sorta strangely proud because she had dealt with that on her own and had known it was all gonna be okay in the end.