Say My Name [ Teacher-Student Romance -- Robert Downey Jr ]

Ch.83 - No More Lies

I heavily suggest a review of the last chapter as it has been a wee while since I've updated.

SURPRISE -->

20 COMMENTS = ANOTHER NEW CHAPTER.

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The sea of salty tears that has awashed upon her cheeks, ceases. The shine of the light dries with the batting of her swabbed thickly sticky lashes. Her slow and blurred gaze drifting from between one unfocused object to another, without aim or thought, just a heartbeat that's ringing loudly in her ears. Echoing emptiness and twanging in distress. Disparity rooting her in that of self condemnation, cementing her limbs useless and heavy with deep gloomy inhales for a better place. (Clouds, sunshine, Moll).

When Robert knocks again she does not flinch like maybe she once would, not when she's feeling like she's heavily medicated to the point of a comatose like sedation. His voice doesn't sound, but the door does edge open.

She blinks, she breathes, she listens.

A long stretched out sigh as heavy as her heart breathes from Robert's lips. A beat before her name drawls solemnly on his worn lips. "Oh, Char."

The door opens further and the whooshing of a spring breeze informs her that some things never do change. She can now hear the chirping of birds outside, past the open window of the bedroom and perched somewhere where the sun still shines. Can imagine him pacing beyond her closed door, swiping a raucous hand through his wavy locks. Opening the window and steadily inhaling it's fresh curt air, preparing himself as he had then opened the bathroom door to find Charlottes slumped state.

She blinks, she breathes, she cranes her neck to look up at the lithe man leaning faux casually against the doorframe beside her, hands shoved in his pockets, and brandishing his own far off stare. Beyond the walls of this porcelain bathroom, maybe beyond it all. Practicing the bad habit she taught him of biting nervously at his lip, before jerking out of gaze with a short breathed exhale. "Sorry, I, uh, I got worried." Saying it like it's a confession he's guilty of.

He glances ever so quietly to her. Brown flicking between blue, and she suddenly sees in the creases between his knitted brows, the frowning of his glistening lips, the man she used to know too intimately. Where she once could see through his clouded eyes and point notice to his good heart, albeit it's still there, it no longer let's Charlotte in. It's just as heavily guarded as her own is, built in brick and lined with artillery that shoots through that returned smile. She sees him like he once was--and then to be informed by this so pressed, so anxious and controlled facade, it, it brings about a truth that dawns on her; the lies covered in avoidances hurt more than the truth that's hidden behind it all.

She's done playing this back and fourth game that tosses them nothing but questions. She owes him more than she is able to fully comprehend, more than maybe she's emotionally capable of expressing right now, but this spout of light could regress back into darkness within the next breath and she sees that it's sculpting him into someone he isn't. It's changing him and hurting him all in one strike.

"Do," Her throat feels raw and groggy; swallowing past it she comes back to his full unwavering attention. Baited on her words alone and she sees the pain of wondering if this is it again. Her ending it. She shoves it away before it manifests into more than it ought to be. Clearing her throat, and trying again. "Do you want to be here?"

From the minuet pinch of his lips, she sees that that is not the soft spoken words he was expecting.

"I do, but," His stature stiffens--an inch only, but not enough to ware at the steady stress clawing at his shoulders. "I don't know, I don't know."