Thanks for the Memories

Reappearance

2 MONTHS LATER
I got off the train back in the Tokyo station. It was quiet, it was early in the morning after all. I hadn't told anyone that I was coming back, so I left the station alone, heading for my apartment. When I was walking back, things seemed just a little brighter, I was refreshed. I was able to use the time away to get free of the cycle I had gotten into.

I walked up to my door and swung it open. I had been away long enough for me to be happy about being back. I set my bag down on the middle of my bed. I went to my computer on the desk in my room and turned it on. I hadn't brought it with me, I had gone most of the time without my phone too. As soon as it came on, I was bombarded with notifications of emails and texts. Most of them from Rin or Makoto.

I ignored my computer for a little longer and settled back into my apartment. After I unpacked my bag and sat back down on my bed, I felt like I should call Makoto or something. I went back to my computer and read through the notifications. Rin had started asking what happened to me and why wasn't I answering him. He did apologize profusely in every message. I guess my silence made him feel worse. I didn't mean to be mean, but I didn't feel bad either. We'd both move on. His messages had stopped coming a month ago.

But with Makoto, it was different. There were a lot of messages that first day I left. He really wanted to talk to me. He had emailed me every day, at first he seemed to be hoping for a response, asking if I was okay and when I would come back. I could feel that he was hurting. After a week, I guess he realized that I wasn't answering and started emailing me updates about what was going on, what he was thinking or feeling that day. It was like he was writing in a journal. I felt really bad. He had needed someone there and I had just disappeared.

I picked up my phone and the first number I dialed was Makoto's. It went to voicemail so I hung up and redialed. I had to actually talk to him. Lucky for me, he answered on the fifth ring. He sounded sleepy when he spoke, "Hello?"

It felt good to hear his voice again, "Makoto..."

"S-Sousuke?" Makoto instantly sounded alert. "Is that really you?"

"Makoto," words just tumbled out, "I'm sorry, really, I..."

"Sousuke," Makoto sounded happy despite the hour, "If you're worried you woke me up..."

"Makoto," I stopped him, I had to let him know that I had seen his emails, "I'm sorry for just leaving and for barely telling you and for not responding to any of your emails." My throat started to get dry.

I could hear the smile on his face as he spoke, "Sousuke, it's okay. Don't-"

"No it's not okay," I cut him off. "I really am sorry. I read your emails..."

"I wondered if you saw them..." It sounded like Makoto had started sniffing, "I'm sorry I sent so many. It's just that that first week, when I heard your voicemail I was worried that you... I had to convince myself that I was wrong, I kept writing to you because I had to believe you were alright." Makoto paused, "It's okay if you delete them, some of them sound pretty distraught."

I knew I wouldn't delete them. I just said, "Can I see you?"

"Sousuke..." I could hear his quiet sobs as he spoke, "Of course! Are you at your apartment? I'll come right over."

"Makoto," I took a deep breath, "Thank you."