Thanks for the Memories

Letting Go

Makoto and I stayed in my room all morning and half the afternoon. I thought I should go out or let other people know I was back but I just couldn't leave Makoto. Rin would hate me if I waited even a day to tell him that I got back but I didn't really care. I hadn't really forgiven him yet and wasn't going to any time soon. But that evening, I heard a knock at my door.

I got up to answer it and there stood Rin at my doorway. It was like my thinking of him had caused him to appear. He stared at me a moment before saying, "So you did come back."

"Rin..." I thought of all things I could say, all the things I wanted to say but ended up just saying, "I got back this morning."

"When were you going to tell me?" I could hear the falter in Rin's voice, tears were coming.

"Rin..." Just stop was what I wanted to say but I couldn't. "Look..." The tears were now forming in the corners of his eyes. It bothered me to see him so broken up. I didn't want to guilted into comforting him. I said, "How are things with Nanase?"

"Sousuke..." Rin reached a hand forward to touch my arm, "I'm sorry about what I did. I really am. Will you forgive me?"

"Do you want the honest answer to that?" I asked, I wasn't about to sugarcoat it. He hesitated but still nodded. So I responded with my honest answer, "No. I'm still getting over the pain. I have to heal before I can forgive the person who caused the pain."

Rin looked at me seriously, "Sousuke, I..."

"Rin, do you know why it takes me so long to heal?" I continued without waiting for him to respond, "I pick at the scabs. I always have, I could never let injuries be. So if you want forgiveness, don't worry, one day I will forgive you. I just need to stop picking at the scab. And this, right here now, is digging my fingernails in to rip open the wound."

His shoulders sagged and his hand fell slowly to his side. "Sousuke... I... I understand."

He turned to leave and I suddenly felt a little bad about being so harsh. I stopped him, "Rin, you're still my friend and I still want you to be happy. So I hope things still work out for you and Nanase."

Rin smiled, his face still covered in sadness. "Thanks."

He turned back again and walked away from my door. I watched him walk down the stairs before I closed the door. I turned around and leaned with my back against the door. I rested my hand against my forehead and I tried hard to not think about what just happened. I heard a creak down the hall and looked up to see Makoto standing there, looking at me.