In life people often strive because they have the motivation to do so.
Back in High School, I remember how people would aim for specific spots on the honor roll list just because they were competing with a person they want to surpass.
It is not a vulgar motto, but it is a silent agreement.
I know
I never really thought of life or school achievements as an award from a competition with someone else or a peer but instead I see this as an award for defeating myself within.
Why?
I am the only one who puts myself low.
My schoolmates have this goal to reach the top while I conditioned myself to stay low.
Of course being at the top such as: Top 1- is what we all yearn for, but if I see no sight of the students who I always see as the smart ones I often feel guilty for being placed at the top.
It feels so undeserving
Of course my parents would feel proud
But the inner would be more insecure
I want to eat yema
Even though I'm not a fan of Yema but everytime I eat this candy I remember sweet memories or just candies I used to eat with it back then.
"I want to eat Yema" is like my mini qoute to myself so I can remind myself to at least trust her(my old self)
I learned no matter how much I wanted to put myself down my efforts would never be put to vain.
I am trying to gain that confidence back and I will make myself proud.
It can never be today but it might be someday.
I know that I don't...
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I Know That I Don't
Random"My ranting/qoute book" 'I know that I don't' is a narrative of my realizations and questions that will yet to be answered by me. I explain my experiences which are kind of cringe but this is my way of coping in life. Writing is healing to me, to re...
