I have said something that even I can't believe...
To be loved by everyone is truly a blessing. Who knew half of the population today has never felt sincere love or as what they presume.
I'm glad I felt that love.
But really who knew a person with a privileged life, kind of lazy, hard-working in school, achiever, loved by friends and family gets to feel pain.
It is known to society that if one has felt love one will not feel depressed or pain that other non privilege people have felt.
And back then, I agreed.
Although that one article started my confusion. Is society really right all the time?
I scroll through the website of our computer cafe reading an article of a poor celebrity's death (that I will not name).
That celebrity was known to be wealthy, care-free, happy, goofy and many more that is far opposite of what society said to be depressed.
They say if you have all those qualifications of happiness you are immune.
And I wish that was the case.
I wish everyone is immune when they have all those qualifications, cause HECK the world would be less complicated.
I look at the celebrity's feed or pictures and vids before and it clenches something in me.
That face they make seems awfully familiar.
You know the thing you do when some people accidentally offend you but they were kind to you before so you tried to plaster a smile as a sign of "you are alright".
People can control their feelings
They make themselves believe what isn't real because they want to escape that feeling.
Even though my situation is far from that, I relate to the part where emotions can be controlled but sometimes we control it to conceal something.
When you feel sad but everyone isn't so you have to make yourself happier so you could hide that odd feeling.
Who knew...
We mask, plaster something we are not but people would never notice.
I always hope people don't get to experience it, but I came to the realization that everyone will go through it.
The question is:
For how long?
Will it lead to good outcomes or just like the celeb...
It still aches my heart how someone could be the happiest but actually is the saddest person in the room...
Who knew, I can somehow relate because the thing I said out loud made me realize, despite the qualifications I have to be considered lucky and happy, I am thankful yet I feel like I am taking things for granted and I don't deserve this.
I said the words I feared to hear, yet it came out of my mouth in an argument.
"If only I didn't live"
What? Being alive is something I am very thankful for even at this moment, but at that very statement I agree.
Foreign feelings suffocates me and for sure a lot of people have suffered just like me
We may have different situations but we all know any feelings we had should be validated.
I know we will fight this battle silently (or not), then we will get through this. Who knew someday is today.
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YOU ARE READING
I Know That I Don't
Random"My ranting/qoute book" 'I know that I don't' is a narrative of my realizations and questions that will yet to be answered by me. I explain my experiences which are kind of cringe but this is my way of coping in life. Writing is healing to me, to re...
