ten more reasons ~ ghost b.c

traffic pt.1

A/N- this is a two part chapter! enjoy :) -m🫧

next morning.

i wake up with the bus coming to a sudden stop. i look over to chris waking up confused as well, cosmo rustles in his bunk too. per still stays sound asleep next to me, i place my blanket over him before i jump down and walk into the rest area.

tobias was already awake and talking to the bus driver, we were stopped in traffic bumper to bumper "what's wrong?" i ask with sleep still laced in my voice. i zip up my jacket given i didn't have a bra on.

tobias places his hand on my back as he walks past me "there was a car wreck up ahead... it's stopping the traffic, we might be a tad bit late" he tells me and cosmo walks back into the bunks tiredly. chris walks in "just traffic... we're going to be late" i tell chris and he nods his head tiredly.

i walk into the small bathroom, brush my teeth and put my hair up. the bus moves up slightly but is still caught in the traffic. i sigh as i sit on the small couch looking out the window "how many more shows do we have?" i ask tobias keeping my eyes out on the rows of traffic beside us "a little under 20 i think?" he tells me.

my heart aches at the fact i'm even thinking about this, i think i need to step away the band. things just haven't been right, with myself or the band. ever since sophie left and the new girls joined it just doesn't feel right. there's constant fighting between mad and i, and i don't know if i can continue with it.

tobias looks over at me "lorraine? why are you asking that?" he asks. i meet my eyes with his "i.. i think i need a break for a while. i think i need to take a step away from the band" i tell him and my voice cracks a bit. he looks taken back by my words "y- you're leaving?" he asks and i shake my head quickly

"no! no- i just need a break" i cast my eyes down and he sighs a bit "where is this coming from?" he asks me. "we've been going non stop for the past 5 years tobias, i need a break... and if you can't give that to me
then-" "then you'll leave" he states

"i don't understand why you cant take a break? you're saying after tour is over right?" he asks and i nod my head "there's not a problem lorraine... take all the time you need" he tells me understanding my motives "okay..." i nod my head and i pull him into a hug "thank you" i whisper.

my eyes meet per's who's standing in the doorway "i'll let you guys talk" tobias says walking past per towards the bunks. "i wish you would have talked to me beforehand" he tells me, still standing "i didn't know how you would react" i mumble as i toy with my fingernails.

it goes quiet and i shake my head "if you're mad just tell me" he knits his eyebrows "mad? me mad? absolutely not" he walks over and sits next to me "i just want you to be able to finish this tour without having a mental breakdown" he tries to say seriously but i laugh under my breath

"i'll be okay" i tell him and his eyes scan my face "i love you" he tells me and kisses my forehead "i love you too" i kiss his lips and chris walks in "wrap it up" he mumbles and per smiles looking down at his hand laced in mine "is everyone else awake?" as i ask. everyone walks out including mad.

laura sits next to me still wrapped in a blanket. i go to speak up but mad starts talking about how she's upset tour is going to end "mad i think lorraine has a few words to say.." hayden speaks up and i smile slightly at him "after tour im going too.. step away from music and step away from the band, just for a little while" i tell everyone nervously

cosmo's face drops completely "you're serious?" he asks and i nod my head. laura pouts her lip a bit and rests her head on my shoulder "i'm just carrying a lot on mentally and i just need to take some time for me" i admit and jutty's face falls too.

we've had some serious talks about mental health in the past and he or cosmo are the first ones i usually go too when i'm having trouble. it was harder this time for some reason to reach out and ask for help

"but i'm finishing out tour and then i'll probably head home for a couple months" i tell everyone and chris speaks up "what happens when tour starts back up in august?" he asks "i'll be back" i tell him and his shoulders visibly relax "what the hell am i supposed to do without you here?" jutty throws his hands up and i frown a bit

"you'll have chris! and laura can fill in-" "laura is not lorraine" cosmo says holding his hand up, no offense to laura "hey i agree with that-"
"guys i'm not gone yet! you still have like a month left with me so calm down" i tell them.

my eyes venture over to the window to see we're finally moving through all the traffic "not so busy anymore" per speaks up as the bus moves at a steady pace "i need a beer after all of this" jutty shakes his head and walks back to the bunks "i feel like i've brought everyone down" i tell per so only we can hear

"don't worry about it, love... they'll understand" he rubs his thumb along my hand as our fingers stay intertwined. it wasn't long before laura and i were doing vocal warm ups together and singing with tobias.