Alice

chris

I wake up and look around, panicked that I'm not in my own bed. I remember everything that happened yesterday.

I remember seeing my fathers body laying on the floor, his eyes fixed down the hallway. The way his blood flowed down and stained the carpet.

I never even saw my mothers body.

My brother has probably found them by now and reported me missing. I know exactly how he would describe me, too.

5'7, 5'8 in her favorite shoes. Long, red maybe pink, curly hair with faded blue streaks in it, maybe with dark auburn roots growing in. Gray eyes, bright eyeshadow, black winged eyeliner, and a pink tinted chapstick. The same makeup I do almost everyday.

I don't look like that now. I can only imagine what he's thinking right now. He always knew what our father did to me, and he never did anything to stop it. In fact he helped him hide it, made me think no one would ever believe me.

He didn't use me the same way our father did, but I served as his personal punching bag for years.

He must think I snapped. In his head our dad had another urge and I fought back with a knife, killed our mom too, and ran away. No doubt that's what he told the police, without the child abuse. 

I feel warm tears roll down my cheeks, dripping onto my knees as I sit on the edge of the bed.

I stand up, opening the door and carefully looking down the hall. It's bright outside, and I can hear people talking in the living room.

I wipe my face before I leave my room. I walk down the hall and turn the corner into the living room. "Good morning." I say.

"Oh hey, I was just about to send Joe to wake you up." Spencer says, putting his phone down next to him. "We're meeting up with some guys from Motionless today, so you might want to get dressed." He says.

"Oh, cool, yeah I'm going to go get dressed." I say, walking back to my room. I dig through my bag and end up with black ripped skinny jeans with colorful patches on them, my black boots, and a black and red My Chemical Romance t-shirt.

I go into the bathroom to fix my hair and can't stop seeing my chest. It's only a b cup but its enough to make it obvious I'm not a boy. Mikey is supposed to be a boy. The sports bra makes them smaller but not small enough.

I go back to my room and put on another sports bra, hoping that will help push them down. It's not as flat as I'd like, but I'll have to deal with it. 

I go back to the bathroom and push my hair around until it looks good. I put on a few spots of concealer and some messy black pencil eyeliner.

I take a deep breath and walk back out to the main room. I sit down next to Spencer.

"Hair looks good, Mikey." He says.
"Thanks" I smile back.

There's a knock at the door, and Joe gets up to answer it. "Chris! Hey man!" He says, hugging the man at the door before he walks in.

I recognize him right away. Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli. He's followed by Justin, Ricky Horror, and Vinny. Ricky is holding a black suitcase with red details.

I wave from my seat on the couch and Vinny waves back, Ricky Horror nods his head at me.

"Chris, hey man, how've you been?" Spencer says, standing up and hugging him.

"Good man, it's been good! I heard you have a kid now?" Chris asks, surprised.

"Yeah, yeah. Some shit went down and it's a long story but this is Mikey, for all intents and purposes, my son." Spencer says, motioning me over.