Alice

cookout

Telling Vinny somehow went better and worse that I expected. He says he won't think of me any differently but I feel like he will.

Soon enough, there won't be a need for me to tell anyone else. I'll just as normal as any other kid.

Most nights now I find myself closing my eyes and imagining going to a high school and getting to invite people over to my house instead of running away to thiers. I imagine that spencer has always been my dad, and nothing bad has ever happened to me.

No trauma, no living on the run, no dead brother, no group meet ups to tell someone else my sob story life and have them question my sanity for appreciating a killer. Just life as a stupid teenager.

Just life, normal life. Running around downtown with my friends, pooling our money together to get a huge meal for all three of us to split, all of the things a normal teenager does.

Tonight is no different. Dreams that almost feel real are no stranger to me, but its rare that it isn't a nightmare. I'm dreaming about my first day of highschool, spencer dropping me off and walking me inside to finish getting me registered. Then meeting August in one of my classes, maybe history or science. Having a few friends, being able to brag about my dad to them, and just maybe being able to invite them over at least once.

I find myself lost in that dream before I get woken up by ricky(a) shaking my shoulder.

"wake up kid, we have a few days free, so we're having a cook out." He says. I sit up from the couch, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"we're what?" I ask, finally gaining enough consiousness to understand him.

"having a cook out!" Joe says excitedly. He runs behind Ricky to grab something from his bunk.

"What's a cook out?" I ask. The look on rickys faces tells me I should know what a cook out is.

"did I just here what's a cook out?" Patrick asks. He turns around and looks at me like I'm insane.

"remember no one was ever allowed at my house unless they lived there." I say.

"right, well uh, its like a..." Ricky stutters. Its so normal for him that he can't explain it.

"a bunch of friends getting together to cook food and hang out. Hence, cook out." Spencer says.

I roll out of bed and grab some simple clothes. I get dressed and we all leave the bus. There's a large area of the parking lot where there's a grill.

Justin is behind the grill cooking, August is watching over his shoulder and talking. Chris, Andy, lonny, Vinny, and Ricky (o) are standing around talking in a group. Jinxx, Jake, Ryan, and cc are in thier own group talking.

"Justin, Chris, code red, mikey has er had a cook out before." Patrick says as we approach everyone.

"what?!" Chris says, immediately abandoning whatever conversation he was having before.

"never even heard of one, spencer had to explain it to him." Ricky (a) says.

"oh boy. Come here kid, grab a coke and your uncle justin'll show you around a grill." Justin says.

I laugh and walk over. I take a soda out of the cooler by the grill. I stand next to Justin and look at what he's doing.

Justin points things our and explains how they work. He says coal is better than propane because its harder to accidentally blow up.

At some point Chris comes over and stands near the grill too.

"hey, Justin, Chris, are you cool with stepping away from the grill for a bit so I can make a call." Spencer asks. Justin looks confused before it clicks in his head.

"yeah, August you heard the speech, you think you can man it while I'm gone?" Justin asks.

"yup, sure can" she says, taking the spatula from Justin.

Justin, spencer, Chris, and I walk away from the group for a while, until we are our of ear shot.

Spencer dials a phone number and it rings out on speaker for a while. "hello?" A female voice says.

"Nadia! Hey its spencer. I was wondering if I could call in a favor?" Spencer asks. his tone is entirely different from anything I've seen from him.

"its been a while hasn't it? How have you been?" She asks.

"been good, became a dad, kind of. It's really complicated."

"what? Spencer that's huge --"

"not in the way you think. Is there anyone around you?" Spencer ask.

"way to sound like a serial killer dude." Chris jokes.

"can it cerulli I'm on call."

"no, why? Does it have to do with your--"

"my old job, yeah. I took a job and ended up with un-official custody of a teenager." Spencer explains.

"how does that even-- you know what, I won't question it. Are they around right now?" Nadia asks.

"yeah, he's right here." Spencer says, handing me the phone.

"um, hi. I'm mikey." I say, nevously stumbling over my words.

"hi, I hope spencer been nice to you. Has he?" She asks. Even through a call she's shooting daggers at spencer.

"yeah, absolutely he has. He's alot nicer than my bio dad." I say. Spencer smiles.

"have you accidentally called him dad yet?" She asks in a jokeing way. Her joke helps me relax a bit.

"more than once." I say, laughing.

"its very nice to meet you mikey. Can you give spencer the phone back?" She says. I hand the phone back to spencer.

"heyo."

"its good to know you're taking good care of him. If you weren't I would've come down there myself and-"

"and you'd have to get in line." Justin says.

"oh hi Justin! Really? There's that many people who know about mikey?" She asks.

"everyone on tour knows about mikey, he had pretty much free reign of all the busses." Justin says.

"really? Good to hear. So, spencer, about that favor?"

"someone is making up a false birth certificate for mikey, easiest way to go about everything. Only problem is-"

"you need a mother to sign off on the birth certificate?" She asks.

"exactly. I know its alot to ask but-"

"I'll do it. Under one condition, or several. I want to have a face to face conversation with the kid first." She says.

Spencer looks at me, as if asking if I'm okay with that. I nod.

"yeah, of course. We'll be near you in a week I think, we can meet up then." Spencer says.

"great, it'll be nice to see you again." Nadia says.

"goodbye spence, love ya." She says.

"love you too." He says, hanging up the call.

"did you two just say I love you?" Chris asks. Spencer pauses.

"I think so yeah." He says, smiling.