Nobody Gets Me.

1

: your mom is here.

worrisome child: ok. thanks for telling me.

: any reason why she's here?

worrisome child: to see her child, maybe. i would hope.

i turned the phone off and went to the front door. opening it slowly and meeting her face. she stared at me blankly before walking in and glancing around. it didn't surprise me when she just stood there quietly and looked around. i wish this would stop. she acts as though we've been strangers all our lives. like we didn't spend most of it together.

"you wanna sit down?"

"i'm fine here thank you."

"i'm sure it'll take her a minute to get-"

"she's ready. i wouldn't be here if she wasn't."

"okkaayyy." i rocked on my feet and looked over her. she looks good....really good. can't believe i let that go. the biggest mistake of my life was losing her. like a dummy. but it's cool, i'm gonna get her back. whether she knows it or not. "how's everything going?"

"everything's fine beyoncé."

"same here. same here....i'm going to get mimosas with the girls later this week...wanna join?"

she glared at me and i ceiled my lips. us having the same friends doesn't mean we're any closer. she made that very clear when we ended things. there's been plenty of times where i've tried getting together with all of us but she just blocked me....

"Lyric! you have ten seconds to get down here before i leave you!"

"i'm coming mommy! gimme a second please!"

i chuckled at her begging and shook my head. any time she gets all needy, we're mommy. but on a regular day we're "ma." that child is worrisome.

a few minutes later she came downstairs in a sweatsuit. onika looked at her with a blank face because that is not what we were expecting. especially because she took so long.

"seriously Lyric?"

"what? i'm matching you now. plus, we're not going anywhere important."

"yea i'm glad. ready to get your ass out my car."

"momma you say that every time."

"you always begging to come to my house. Lyric you haven't even been here for a week."

we take turns with Lyric. every two weeks we're supposed to rotate, but Lyric goes where she wants. it's not like she's young and we have to really share her. she's old enough to know where she wants to be at the moment. which most likely isn't here because it's further from her school and friends. i don't complain, as long as i'm not being left out of anything, i'm fine.

once again, the child is worrisome.

"oh wait momma, i left my airpods." she ran back upstairs and i chuckled. this is my time to do what i've been thinking about doing. i really wanna talk to onika but she's so dismissive since our break up.

"onika..."

"yes?"

"um...i want to be given a chance to talk to you. we haven't held a real conversation in a long time and...i miss you so much."

"what are you asking?"

"can you please go out with us?"

i heard her sigh before Lyric came running down again. she kissed my cheek and gave me a hug before heading out the door. she never stays when we're in the same space, she says it's awkward. i agree. we really just sit there with me trying and onika avoiding.