The Awesome Joke Book!

#45

Okay, gotta tell this story.

So, my friend and I had a sleepover over a weekend a couple months ago. She has two exes, one who we call Jerk Face Butt Nugget-yes, cause we are so mature- and another named Butt Face Jerk Nugget. I had recently gotten a phone-cause my mom refused for the longest time and would not turn on my iPhone- at the time and my friend made the mistake of giving me Jerk Face Butt Nugget's phone number. Now, this guy goes to a different school and called her bossy and annoying and repeatedly cussed at her through text, one saying
Jerk Face Butt Nugget- JFBN

JFBN-Bitch I don't fuck with you or your fucking shit go die in a whore hole.

BFF-you know, you shouldn't cuss over text.

JFBN- I don't give a crap

BFF-So now you have the decency to not curse?

So anyways, he cursed her out and my BFF made the mistake of giving me his phone number two days after he cursed her out, four days after they broke up which I should gladly tell you how that happened.

JFBN- I don't think this is working out. Your bossy and annoying and I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore. I hope you aren't sad because I said yes when you asked me out.

BFF- You were the one who asked me out

JFBN- It's okay. Don't worry, Just Shake It Off, Shake It Off, Oh Oh.

Than he lied saying he blocked her after she said this

BFF- Okay 😩 Can we still be friends at least?

JFBN- (He actually sent this text didn't actually block her) Were sorry. The person you are trying to contact has requested limited access from this number. If this is a recurring activity, please call -Instert random number here to not reveal my state😛- for help.

Yea... jerk right? So anyways, I started texting him. 😈😈😈😈

Me- Hello? Is this Jerk Face Butt Nugget Last Name, From Random school entered here

JFBN- Hey Ashley, want to go to the movies tommorow @11? It will be our first date 😏

(At this point we were laughing hysterically because he thought we were his new girlfriend which he had FOUR DAYS AFTER THEY BROKE UP. We didn't get a chance to say anything before he responded)

JFBN- Leave me alone BFF! You need to go to counseling you creep. (I used BFF for names purposes)

ME- But Jerk Face Butt Nugget, it's me? What's wrong?

JFBN- This is BFF! Stop texting me!

Me- Jerk Face Butt Nugget it's me! Ashley!

JFBN- Okay, What's your last name?

ME- Why the hell would you want me to say my last name when you already know it and when you accuse me of a liar?!

JFBN- Who is this?!?!

Me- Your ex-girlfriend now!

JFBN- This is BFF!! Why can't you just leave me alone?

Me- This is Ashley thank you very much asshole. I was debating whether to say yes or no to the offer but it's a definite no now asshole!

JFBN- Who is this!? BFF, you need to get a life.

(By this point we were laughing so much you couldn't even hear us laughing and I just went on a full rampage seeing at how pissed I was at this guy)

Me- THIS IS BFF's BEST FRIEND YOU DICK!! Do you realize what the hell you could have done? Breaking up with her over text with an overrated Taylor swift song!! Your the one who needs to get a life if you worship Taylor Swift to the point of using her as a breakup tatic asshole! Don't worry, just shake it off, shake it off, oh oh! I knew you were trouble when you walked in anyways.

Than he blocked me. Than, I got a new phone.

I've been texting for two weeks. Let me text him again...

He hasn't texted back yet... :(
(he doesn't know it's the same person he thinks I'm a girl who went to his school than transferred to the school I go to.)
A day later, he texted back. 😈

To Be Continued...